Why?

T'Len

2009

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Series: Torchwood: Children of Earth, Day 4

Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Gwen

Rating: PG, CD

Feedback: o tlen11@freenet.de

Summary: A short scene after the end of day 4, sequel to Words

Disclaimer: This story’s mine, but I do not intend to touch the rights of the owner of the characters I’ve used. No moneymaking, no offence meant. English is not my native language, so please be patient with my mistakes. Thanks to Lady Charena for the beta. For all remaining errors, blame me.

Why? Why Ianto? Why had he brought him along? Why hadn’t he considered the possibility the 456 would attack? Why hadn’t he thought of masks and other protecting stuff? Had his own immortality made him so oblivious to the risks he put his team through that he tended to forget that they weren’t immortal? Was the desire for his own death so great that he didn’t mind to drag others along with him on the road to destruction?

(Everything was his fault, his fault alone.

He felt Gwen crying on his shoulder. He should comfort her, say something that everything would be fine, that they would defeat the aliens and save Earth. After all he was her boss. He should lead her. And there still was a fight to win. But he couldn’t find the right words nor the strength to move. All he could think about was one question: Why?

Why Ianto? Why not finally himself? Why hadn’t he stopped it? Not only today but 44 years ago. Why hadn’t he prevented all the deaths? Suzie, Owen, Tosh and now Ianto – too many victims, much too many. He should have protected each of them, but especially Ianto.

Why did he never tel) Ianto what he meant to him, that he loved him, that he needed him, that only he kept him on Earth and in this time, that he believed it was only Ianto, who kept him human with all the cruel decisions he had to make over the years?

Jack tenderly stroked over the pale face, felt its coldness and felt himself inside getting as cold as well.

Quietly he whispered. “I don’t hate the word couple.”

End