Pairing: K/S, Mc/Sc, the kids
Code: PG-13, Humor (Tuppertrek)
Summary: It’s not easy to find a Christmas present for dad
Disclaimer: The characters in this story don’t belong to me. I only borrowed them for some fun. No moneymaking, no violation of copyrights are intended. The story is mine and it is just fanfiction. If you are under age, please stay away. If you have a problem with this topic, then look elsewhere for your entertainment. English is not my native language, so please be patient with my mistakes. Thanks to T’Lin for the beta-reading. For all remaining errors, blame me.
“Do you really think that will work?“ Duncan looked sceptically at his friend Tommy. Although Kirk’s son was two years older then he, Dancun didn’t trust his idea completely. He just didn’t feel at ease with it. He couldn’t ignore the large "Over 18 only" sign at the entrance of the shop. And this was an age they both were years away .
„What will happen?“ Tommy went self-confidently to the first shelf. „Hey, not bad.“ He whistled, impressed, as he took one of the nicely shaped dildos into his hand.
„What’s that?“ Duncan observed the thing amazed. „An artificial penis? Who needs something like that?“
Tommy arched an eyebrow - a characteristic he had inherited from his vulcan father - and grinned. “Are you really so naive or are you just pretending to be?“
Duncan made an insulted face. „I’m only twelve,“ he defended himself.
Yet his friend wasn’t impressed at all. „And? Did you never see a Be-At-Euhse-catalogue of your fathers? The are full of such things.“
„Father always puts them away immediately.“ Duncan gazed anxiously around to see if they had been discovered yet. But the male cashier - or was he a she? the gender remained somehow indeterminable - continued to stare intensely at his Vid-screen and seemed not to register what happened around him. „If you know the catalogue, why don’t you just order from it? So we didn't have to secretly come here.“
Tommy snorted disapprovingly. „Don't crap in your pants, kid” Then he explained: „Because I need a credit chip to order and pay there. And this I only get when I'm 18. Here, I can pay cash.“
„And they will catch us and we will be arrested. They will notify our fathers and we'll get more lectures and house-arrest and ...“
„Stop it!“ Tommy ordered. „I'll tell the salesman we are representatives from the first federation. Those are little people, you know. They look like children. My father told me that. How would they prove different?
Duncan however wasn’t calmed yet. „I don’t know. We should have gone shopping wiith the girls.“
“And we would have bought something boring like swimming trunks, that did not fit in the end because we had messed up the sizes of our fathers.“ Tommy reminded his friend of the last year's Christmas disaster. „Not to mention that badly smelling deltan cheese. Your father wasn’t amused as your whole home stunk after that.“
„I thought is was chocolate“, Duncan subdued. „I don’t speak deltanian and the salesman said….“
„Look,“ Tommy said self-confident. „this year, we'll buy our dads something entirely special. I know for sure that they often buy here. So we can’t do anything wrong.“
Duncan sighed. Tommy was right, he would love to give his dads a special Christmas gift. Of course he wanted to be better then his sister Scarlett. “How about that?” He pointed to another shelf.
Tommy shook his head. „Are you crazy? This is an artificial vagina. They don’t like something like that. They are gay, remember!“
„How the hell should I know what this thing is? I never saw anything like that in the original,“ sighed Duncan.
The voices of entering new customers made the boys wince. They sounded suspiciously familiar. Tommy looked carefully around the shelf corner, then retracted his steps quickly.
„Damn,“ he groaned. „Why are they doing their Christmas shopping today??“
“Perhaps because they waited, like you, until the last moment? “ Duncan said. Instead of an answer, Tommy pulled him quickly behind the next row. „Be quiet,“ he hissed. With held breath, the boys listened to what Jim and Spock said in the next row.
„Jim, can we not buy our Christmas gifts in another shop?“ Spock sounded not quit happy with his whereabout.
However, his mate was more certain. „I wish to give Bones and Scotty something very special. I find we owe them that after our disputes last month.“
Tommy looked carefully around the corner and saw how his father took one of the dildos into his hand and tested its texture. „Look! Scotty could say about it that that’s exactly what the doctor prescribed.“
Spock sceptically arched an eyebrow as he heard two more customers approach. He listened to the voices then said to Jim: “You will be able to ask him personally. I just hear Leonard and Scotty arrive.“
Jim let the dildo fall like a hot potato. „Damn! Why have they come just now?” He grasped for Spock’s hand. „Quick, come with me behind the next row.“
There, Tommy and Duncan quickly retreated further. „We will be discovered,“ Duncan complained.
His friend detected a large, yet fake, Christmas tree in the corner. „Quick behind it!, “ he commanded.
The boys had hardly ducked under the artificial greens when Jim and Spock stepped into the row where they had stood a few seconds ago.
Duncan breathed violently and trembled. As suddenly something soft stroked over his face, he almost screamed aloud. Tommy just managed to press his hand on his friend’s mouth. „Pscht,“ he whispered furiously. „That was only a strap.“
The boys looked outwards. The tree was decorated for Christmas, but in a non-traditional way. Instead of candles, tiny dildos jutted into the heights. Balls and bells were replaced with handcuffs and cock-rings. Various pairs of sexy underwear were used as tinsel. And, Tommy saw as he sneaked a little bit out of their shelter to see towards the top, instead of a star, there were pink pumps.
„What is that?“ Duncan pointed at the cock-rings. Tommy sighed repeatedly since they had entered the shop. „I’ll explain it later,“ he whispered and snuck out again to look at what there parents were doing.
While Spock stared at a row with various oils, Jim glanced around the corner. Scotty and Leonard were busy discussing the sense and purpose of their presence in the shop a row further.
„Len, do we really have to buy our Christmas gifts here?“ Scotty stepped restlessly from one foot to the other and looked nervously around. „I don’t like to be seen here. We should have just ordered through the catalogue.”
McCoy however remained steady. „Don’t be so prim. I will give Jim and Spock something special. I think, we owe that to them after our disputes last month. And ordering through the catalogue is so impersonal.“
He looked at the dildos, then shook his head. „They don’t need something like that. Not with Spock’s... err equipment.“
„Why do you know that? “ Scotty asked jealously.
“I’m his physician,“ McCoy murmured. „Don’t be stupid, love. Let’s look in the next row with the massage oils and cremes. Maybe we'll find something there“
Tommy quickly retracted his head as McCoy and Scott came dangerously nearby. Yet Jim also had heard the words and was now searching for a hiding-place for himself and Spock. „Behind the tree,“ he whispered to the Vulcan and pulled him with him.
But Jim had underestimated to space between the wall and the tree. As he forced himself in, the tree began to waver dangerously. The handcuffs and dildos rattled suspiciously and one of the shoes fell off the top.
Frightened, Duncan stood up. „I have had enough“, he cried and stormed away - knocking into Leonard, who had neared in order to see what was all the noise was about. For Tommy, things also became too hot and he jumped up, too.
As Jim, surprised, spotted his son, he called his name. He wanted to turn around and follow Tommy, but the sudden movement was too much for the tree. It fell to the ground, cracking the next row along with a loud crash.
The noise was finally able to trigger the cashier’s attention. Sirens shrilled as he or she notified security.
„Out here, otherwise they will think we are guilty,“ Scotty shouted to his spouse. He stormed outside, Len directly behind him.
Jim hadn't fully registered the ongoing chaos around him just yet, as he quietly said, „This can’t be true, it's a nightmare,“ he called to Spock. „What is Tommy doing here? When I get him home I will tell him something, you can bet.“ And he rushed out the shop, leaving Spock to the mercy of an angry salesman - or saleswoman - and two just arriving men from security. The Vulcan felt the unpleasant necessity of some painful explanations.
In the meantime, Tommy and Duncan hurried like a flash through the shopping centre. This was overfilled a day before Christmas, so they had to push people aside in order to find their way.
Behind them Scotty and Leonard gasped for air. „Further,“ Scotty gasped. Jim was also breathing heavily during his running. He didn’t notice that a stall with candies fell victim to his rowing arm movements. „Wait!“ he called behind the boys. But they ignored him.
Behind them all a choir of furious voices swelled and swelled - and was joined by a honk. Jim turned his head and didn’t believed his eyes as he saw a security-man on a bicycle propell his way through the crowd rows.
The boys had noted him too and increased their speed. Only few steps to the door, then Tommy and Duncan slipped out the centre. „Safe,“ Scotty started to hurry through the door as a security-man with inline skates stopped him. Len and Jim were also surrounded by uniformed men and taken away to the security office.
„Well, then merry Christmas to us all,“ Leonard sighed, resigned. Outside, Tommy and Duncan pressed their noses against the window and watched how their parents get arrested. “That will be a Christmas they'll never forget,” Duncan said. And Tommy just nodded.