Third Place TOS Humor/Parody (four-way tie)
Fuck Trek –
2001/2004
Series. TOS
Rating: NC-17
Codes: Kirk/Spock, Sulu/Chekov, McCoy/Chapel, Scotty/Enterprise, Uhura
Warnings: Parody
Feedback: tlen11@freenet.de
Beta reader: Thanks to Lyra for the beta. For all remaining
errors, blame me.
Summary: A sex-venture
Disclaimer: The characters in this story don’t belong to
me. I only borrowed them for some fun. No moneymaking and no violation of
copyrights are intended. The story is mine and it is just fanfiction. If you
are under age, please stay away. If you have a problem with this topic, then
look elsewhere for your entertainment. English is not my native language, so
please be patient with my mistakes.
Voyeur-TV proudly presents: Fuck Trek, Sexship Prickrise.
Script: T’ - I have a dirty fantasy – Len, Director: Jolly Bang,
Air-Date: 23.3.2004.
In the leading roles:
Captain – I need it hard - Kirk
Mr. – always at your service - Spock
Dr. – I’m a sex-bomb not a... - McCoy
Chief-engineer – I love my babies - Scott
Lieutenant – no one wants me - Uhura
Lieutenant – small people do it best - Sulu
Ensign – we invented everything - Chekov
Nurse - I just take my clothes off - Chapel
and of course:
the best, strongest, most powerful Sexship of the whole Fuckeration, the
Prickrise 6666
Tonight: part 1701 “Fuck the Attack” Klingons attack the Prickrise. Will
Kirk and his steadfast men and women once more win and save the galaxy with
their endurance? And especially: Will the captain come? Stay tuned, we’ll be
right back after these commercials.
Intro: Beds. Infinite hardness. These are the adventures of the Sexship
Prickrise its five-year-mission to
discover strange new sex partners, to seek out alien practices, to try unknown
positions and to penetrate courageously where no man has penetrated before.
A wideshot of the Prickrise from outside. Slow zoom through a window
into the captain’s cabin. Pan in on Kirk, who kneels naked on his bed. Spock,
also naked, is fucking him from behind.
Kirk's voice from offscene: "Captain’s log, star-date ... ah!,
oh!... after the third thrust. We are ... on a routine position, er… mission.
Observation of the neutral zone. Until now everything has been quiet. Fist
Fucker Spock is performing his services efficiently as always, and in the most
satisfying way."
Close-up of Spock. His face, like always, unemotional and neutral. Left
eyebrow lifts up. Voice sounds self-controlled: "It is not logical,
captain, for you to mention the obvious in your log. I am only fulfilling my
duties."
Close-up of Kirk. Facial expression enraptured. Voice sounds hotter and
more excited: "Spock, you’re paid to screw me, not to talk. Carry
on."
"As you wish, Captain."
Wideshot of Kirk's bed. Prickrise suddenly is shaken. Kirk and Spock
almost fall off the bed. Spock holds on to Kirk tightly and fucks him further.
The intercom chirps: "Uhura to Captain Kirk."
Close-up of Kirk. Facial expression ecstatic. Moan: "Fuck ... er,
Kirk here. What’s the matter with you up there? Who’s screwing ... shaking my
ship?"
Wideshot of the bridge. Zoom in to Uhura. She’s sitting at her station. One hand at her ear, the other one under her miniskirt.
Voice hardly calm: "The Klingons are attacking us, Sir!"
Close-up of Kirk. He seems even more ecstatic. Cries: "Good, very
good. Aahh!!!"
Close-up of Uhura, looks surprised, sounds surprised also:
"Sir?"
Close-up of Kirk. Even more ecstatic. Gasping: "I don't mean you. I
... oh, yesss!!! Sulu, evasive action! Chekov, thrust.. er fire!”
Bridge. Close-up of Sulu and Chekov at their stations. They each have
one hand on the knobs, one in the trousers of the other. All hands are moving
frantically.
Chekov joyful: "Hit!"
Sulu excited: "Give it to them, baby. No one is as good as
you."
Close-up of Kirk and Spock. Kirk totally ecstatic. Spock fucks and
fucks, still with a motionless face, and...
Kirk moans: "I want everything! Increase, more!!!"
Close-up of Chekov: Smiling: "Yes, Sir!"
Wideshot of Kirk’s cabin. Prickrise again is shaken. Both nearly fall
from the bed. Spock clings to Kirk and carries on fucking – obviously unmoved.
Intercom chirps: "McCoy here. Hell, what are you doing?"
Wideshot sick-bay. Naked McCoy and naked Chapel collect themselves off
the floor next to a med-table. McCoy looks down at himself. Despairing:
"He’s dead, Jim."
Close-up of Kirk. Still more ecstatic. Crying wildly: "No, he’s
alive ... and how he’s alive!"
Spock still looks totally unmoved. "Indeed."
Bridge. Close-up of Chekov and Sulu. Hands rub and pull terrifically
fast at knobs and ... you know what we mean... we’re a decent station and and won't put such things on the air – at least not
more than necessary to get ratings.
Chekov yelling: "Bull's eye!"
Sulu gasping for air: "Oh yes!!!"
Close-up of Kirk. Even more ecstatic look and voice: “Harder, harder.
Finish me. "
Close-up of Uhura, rubbing wildly at her ear and between her legs. Voice
chirps: "The Klingons are destroyed, Sir".
Wideshot Kirk and Spock. Kirk ecstatic, Spock – ah we’ll save the
repetition. Anyway, Spock fucks faster and harder.
Triumphant Kirk: "Yes, yes, yes!!! I love it!!!!"
Intercom chirps: "Scott to Captain Kirk. We have a problem."
Engineering. Zoom in on Scotty, rubbing himself frantically against a
station. Red lights flashing anxiously. Sounds despairing: "Baby come on.”
Work again! Do it for daddy. Daddy loves you."
The red lights turn green.
Scotty relieved: "Yes, that’s good, my darling."
Kirk's voice comes harshly from the loudspeaker: "Beam me up. Good,
yesss!!!!! What’s... ah!!!!! ... ohhhh!!!!!!! ... wrong, Scotty?"
Scotty sounding content now: "Everything under control, Sir, but
nevertheless could you come... when it suits you?"
Close-up of Kirk. Totally out of control. Loud: "I’m coming ... I’m
coming!!!!"
Close-up of Spock. Both eyebrows lifted up, otherwise without visible
movement. Unemotional voice: "Fascinating."
Zoom out slowly until we see the Prickrise from outside.
Kirk's voice from offscreen: "Captain’s log, supplemental. Again we
have saved the universe and fucked.. er thumped the bad Klingons to hell. And
I’m completely satisfied.”
Epilogue: Tune in again next week, when the Prickrise penetrates a
gigantic space being. Who will give it to whom? Will both sides be satisfied on
the end? Will Captain Kirk come again? Same time, same station. Until then:
Fuck long and prosper.
End