Third Place TOS Humor/Parody (four-way tie)



Fuck Trek –

Scenes we never got to see













Series. TOS

Rating: NC-17

Codes: Kirk/Spock, Sulu/Chekov, McCoy/Chapel, Scotty/Enterprise, Uhura

Warnings: Parody


Beta reader: Thanks to Lyra for the beta. For all remaining errors, blame me.

Summary: A sex-venture


Disclaimer: The characters in this story don’t belong to me. I only borrowed them for some fun. No moneymaking and no violation of copyrights are intended. The story is mine and it is just fanfiction. If you are under age, please stay away. If you have a problem with this topic, then look elsewhere for your entertainment. English is not my native language, so please be patient with my mistakes.




Voyeur-TV proudly presents: Fuck Trek, Sexship Prickrise.

Script: T’ - I have a dirty fantasy – Len, Director: Jolly Bang, Air-Date: 23.3.2004.


In the leading roles: 

Captain – I need it hard - Kirk

Mr. – always at your service - Spock

Dr. – I’m a sex-bomb not a... - McCoy

Chief-engineer – I love my babies - Scott

Lieutenant – no one wants me - Uhura

Lieutenant – small people do it best - Sulu

Ensign – we invented everything - Chekov

Nurse - I just take my clothes off - Chapel

and of course:

the best, strongest, most powerful Sexship of the whole Fuckeration, the Prickrise 6666


Tonight: part 1701 “Fuck the Attack” Klingons attack the Prickrise. Will Kirk and his steadfast men and women once more win and save the galaxy with their endurance? And especially: Will the captain come? Stay tuned, we’ll be right back after these commercials.


Intro: Beds. Infinite hardness. These are the adventures of the Sexship Prickrise its five-year-mission  to discover strange new sex partners, to seek out alien practices, to try unknown positions and to penetrate courageously where no man has penetrated before.


A wideshot of the Prickrise from outside. Slow zoom through a window into the captain’s cabin. Pan in on Kirk, who kneels naked on his bed. Spock, also naked, is fucking him from behind.


Kirk's voice from offscene: "Captain’s log, star-date ... ah!, oh!... after the third thrust. We are ... on a routine position, er… mission. Observation of the neutral zone. Until now everything has been quiet. Fist Fucker Spock is performing his services efficiently as always, and in the most satisfying way."


Close-up of Spock. His face, like always, unemotional and neutral. Left eyebrow lifts up. Voice sounds self-controlled: "It is not logical, captain, for you to mention the obvious in your log. I am only fulfilling my duties."


Close-up of Kirk. Facial expression enraptured. Voice sounds hotter and more excited: "Spock, you’re paid to screw me, not to talk. Carry on."


"As you wish, Captain."


Wideshot of Kirk's bed. Prickrise suddenly is shaken. Kirk and Spock almost fall off the bed. Spock holds on to Kirk tightly and fucks him further.


The intercom chirps: "Uhura to Captain Kirk."


Close-up of Kirk. Facial expression ecstatic. Moan: "Fuck ... er, Kirk here. What’s the matter with you up there? Who’s screwing ... shaking my ship?"


Wideshot of the bridge. Zoom in to Uhura. She’s sitting at her station. One hand at her ear, the other one under her miniskirt.


Voice hardly calm: "The Klingons are attacking us, Sir!"


Close-up of Kirk. He seems even more ecstatic. Cries: "Good, very good. Aahh!!!"


Close-up of Uhura, looks surprised, sounds surprised also: "Sir?"


Close-up of Kirk. Even more ecstatic. Gasping: "I don't mean you. I ... oh, yesss!!! Sulu, evasive action! Chekov, thrust.. er fire!”


Bridge. Close-up of Sulu and Chekov at their stations. They each have one hand on the knobs, one in the trousers of the other. All hands are moving frantically.


Chekov joyful: "Hit!"


Sulu excited: "Give it to them, baby. No one is as good as you."


Close-up of Kirk and Spock. Kirk totally ecstatic. Spock fucks and fucks, still with a motionless face, and...


Kirk moans: "I want everything! Increase, more!!!"


Close-up of Chekov: Smiling: "Yes, Sir!"


Wideshot of Kirk’s cabin. Prickrise again is shaken. Both nearly fall from the bed. Spock clings to Kirk and carries on fucking – obviously unmoved.


Intercom chirps: "McCoy here. Hell, what are you doing?"


Wideshot sick-bay. Naked McCoy and naked Chapel collect themselves off the floor next to a med-table. McCoy looks down at himself. Despairing: "He’s dead, Jim."


Close-up of Kirk. Still more ecstatic. Crying wildly: "No, he’s alive ... and how he’s alive!"


Spock still looks totally unmoved. "Indeed."


Bridge. Close-up of Chekov and Sulu. Hands rub and pull terrifically fast at knobs and ... you know what we mean... we’re a decent station and and won't put such things on the air – at least not more than necessary to get ratings.


Chekov yelling: "Bull's eye!"


Sulu gasping for air: "Oh yes!!!"


Close-up of Kirk. Even more ecstatic look and voice: “Harder, harder. Finish me. "


Close-up of Uhura, rubbing wildly at her ear and between her legs. Voice chirps: "The Klingons are destroyed, Sir".


Wideshot Kirk and Spock. Kirk ecstatic, Spock – ah we’ll save the repetition. Anyway, Spock fucks faster and harder.


Triumphant Kirk: "Yes, yes, yes!!! I love it!!!!"


Intercom chirps: "Scott to Captain Kirk. We have a problem."


Engineering. Zoom in on Scotty, rubbing himself frantically against a station. Red lights flashing anxiously. Sounds despairing: "Baby come on.” Work again! Do it for daddy. Daddy loves you."


The red lights turn green.


Scotty relieved: "Yes, that’s good, my darling."


Kirk's voice comes harshly from the loudspeaker: "Beam me up. Good, yesss!!!!! What’s... ah!!!!! ... ohhhh!!!!!!! ... wrong, Scotty?"


Scotty sounding content now: "Everything under control, Sir, but nevertheless could you come... when it suits you?"


Close-up of Kirk. Totally out of control. Loud: "I’m coming ... I’m coming!!!!"


Close-up of Spock. Both eyebrows lifted up, otherwise without visible movement. Unemotional voice: "Fascinating."


Zoom out slowly until we see the Prickrise from outside.


Kirk's voice from offscreen: "Captain’s log, supplemental. Again we have saved the universe and fucked.. er thumped the bad Klingons to hell. And I’m completely satisfied.”


Epilogue: Tune in again next week, when the Prickrise penetrates a gigantic space being. Who will give it to whom? Will both sides be satisfied on the end? Will Captain Kirk come again? Same time, same station. Until then: Fuck long and prosper.