Really, Doctor…






Series. TOS

Pairing: K/S?

Code: PG-13, humor

Feedback: to

Summary:  McCoy has finally caught his friends. Really?


Disclaimer: Paraborg/Viacom owns the whole Star Trek universe. I only borrowed a little part of it for some fun. No moneymaking, no offence of copyrights are intended. The story is mine and it is just fanfiction.


If you are under age, please stay away. If you have a problem with m/m-sex and relationships, then look elsewhere for your entertainment. English is not my native language, so please be patient with my mistakes. T’Boy did a really great job to correct my errors, not to mention all the suggestions she gave. My greatest gratitude to her. For all remaining errors, blame me.




„Bones, do have you some?“ Leonard McCoy looked up with astonishment as his Captain and friend rushed into sickbay. This somewhat unusual request from Jim surprised the doctor.

“What do you want with that?“ he asked back.

Jim shrugged his shoulders. “Spock wants to try something.”

‘Ah finally!’ In McCoy’s mind rang certain bells. ‚It’s about damn time that they both noticed they’d fallen in love with each other,’ he thought.

As McCoy handed Jim a tube he passed a few good pieces of advice along with it. “Take plenty of it. And be careful! It can be painful the first time. If you need any medical aid afterwards don’t be afraid to call for me immediately.”

He stopped his speech as he noticed with surprise that Jim had already rushed out the room.


Leonard McCoy tried his best – okay he didn’t really try – to prevent his imagination of running wild about the things Jim and Spock were most likely doing together.

The sounds that came out of the Captain’s cabin when he passed by a short time later – accidentally, naturally – confirmed his suspicions.

“You were right, Spock. It works now.”

“Yes Jim, it now functions exactly the way it is supposed to be.”

“And is suits perfectly. Wonderful!”

McCoy was just about to continue on his way  – smiling over his whole face - when the door to Jim’s cabin opened and something red quickly passed him by. The doctor sprang hurriedly to one side.

Jim Kirk appeared at the door, followed by Spock who held a strange-looking metal box in his hands. Both were fully clothed - to McCoy’ astonishment.

“Damn, it must have released the automatic door sensor.” Jim cursed. “Stop it, Spock. Quickly! Before someone steps on it.”

Spock pressed some buttons on the device and the red something came back. Now McCoy could recognize it as a copy of an old automobile.

“What are you both actually doing here?” the Doctor asked – still somewhat shocked.

 Jim picked the vehicle up, which had remained quietly in front of him, and pointed invitingly at the still open door. “Come in, Bones”

After all three had entered and the little car was safely locked away in the closet, Jim gave an explanation. “This fully functional model of an old automobile was Spock’s Christmas present for me. You know have much I like antique things. Unfortunately it didn’t function at first. Something seized up. By the way, thanks for the lubricant. It served its purpose well. I didn’t want to use some of Scotty’s technical lubricant. Who knows how the sensitive mechanics of the model would have reacted to a more concentrated material. Fortunately Spock had the idea to ask you.”

McCoy’ jaw dropped open. “You’ve used the cream for THAT?“

“Of course.” Jim smiled innocently. “What did you think?”

“Err… nothing.“ McCoy blushed. “I think I’ll be going now.”

“Not so quickly, Bones,” Jim held him back. “Now I want to know. Spill it!”

The doctor swallowed nervously. “I thought, you’d use it for it’s intended purpose. You know what I mean.”

Spock raised his right brow but didn’t say anything.

“You think we sleep together?“ Jim asked with playful indignation.

“Yes, I mean…” McCoy stammered helplessly. “You are such good friends...”

“…and so you think we fuck each other.” Jim continued. “Really, Bones! This time you’ve gone too far.  I don’t know if I can forgive you this.”

“I’m sorry, Jim, Spock... honestly. And I’m already gone.” With this McCoy turned around and hurried out before the others got the chance to say anything  more.

As soon as the door had closed behind him Jim burst out laughing. “Oh Gosh, have you seen the expression on his face?“ he gasped.

Spock shook his head with light disapproval. “Do you not think you were to mean to him?”

Jim took Spock in his arms. “No. He deserves this when he sticks his nose in our private life.”

“And do you not think it is time to tell him the truth about us?” Spock pulled Jim closer.

 “No yet.” Jim shook his head. “I find our secrecy so exciting and romantic. Let it be only you and I for a while longer. But I promise you, someday I’ll explain to Bones why we didn’t want to use our good sandalwood cream for the car.”