Egon’s Plan




Fandom: Olsenbanden

Pairing: Egon/Benny/Kjeld

Rating: PG-15, Humor

Summary: Egon has a new plan for Christmas

Disclaimer: I don’t know who own them yet. In anyway I don’t. This is only a piece of fanfiction. No moneymaking or no offence of copyrights is intended.


Advertisement: Part of the SAC-2004 at:

Beta: English is not my native language, so please be patient with my mistakes. PhenDog did a really great job correcting my errors. My greatest gratitude to her. For all remaining errors, blame me.






“Do you have a plan, Egon?” Benny excitedly swung his flag while Kjeld played nervously with his doctor bag as they greeted Egon for the god-alone-knew-how-many-times in front of the prison where he had just had stayed over the last month.


"You know what Yvonne has said," Kjeld reminded Benny carefully. "No more plans, and it is Christmas and Börge and the little Fee soon...”


"Bullshit," Egon answered and smoked his cigar. "This plan cannot go wrong."


"Fantastic Egon." Benny was happy and hopped, as he always did in such situations. He simply loved Egon's plans and their common adventures; if they went wrong occasionally, well that was just bad luck.


"I need a Christmas tree, ribbons, some glass balls, candles complete with a fastening possibility, a tree stand, some little pastries, mulled wine and a lubricating cream," Egon ordered. "Oh and a nice star for the tree top and condoms."


"Colossal, Egon. I’ll get it immediately.” Benny hopped once more from one leg to the other with anticipation. "And what will we do with this things?"


"You will see this. We meet in two hours at my home. And no word to Yvonne; that’s is clear,” the boss of the Olsen-gang ordered then they departed from the prison gate in different directions.




Two hours later.


"Na, how do you like it?” Egon contentedly looked at the tree with his coloured balls and even more coloured ribbons and the shining star on the top of all while he was sipping at a cup of mulled wine.


"Colossal, Egon," Benny assured him.


"I should be already at home for a while. Yvonne gets..." Kjeld moaned and felt on the only chair in Egon's meagre room. He was exhausted from all of the work. Egon only had stood there and given instructions, delegating all the work to him and Benny. And wherever they hung something, Egon didn't like the placement, so that they had to re-hang the balls or ribbons at least three times.


"What’s your plan, Egon?" Benny wanted to know. He poured himself also a cup of wine. "Do we rob the national bank? Or one of these modern companies again? Will we finally become millionaires?"


"No," Egon replied. "We celebrate Christmas quite comfortably. Three old friends who spend the feast of the love properly together." He shoved a cup to Kjeld. "Drink!"


"But Egon... no plan?” Benny obviously was disappointed. Egon just did not come without a plan when he left the prison. This had never happened before; this was simply unthinkable. And outrageous. He already had been anticipating a new adventure so much.


"I then must go..." Kjeld timidly said. Yvonne would rage, if he came home so late. And he hadn't completed her purchase list which she had given him in the morning, either. Then he still had to get a Christmas present for Börge. Not to mention for Yvonne as well. He sighed when he thought of his purse which was, in fact, already in low tide. Some millions really couldn't hurt right now. But one knew how Egon's plans always ended - Egon in hale and the others still poor like a church mice.


"Stay!" Egon ordered. "I actually have a plan."


"Fantastic, Egon," Benny was happy again and jumped and Kjeld sighed quietly; however, he sat down again obediently. After all their years together, he knew better than to argue with the boss.


"Which bank is it then?" Benny asked in happy anticipation.


"No-one," Egon replied. "I’ve learned something in the jail which proved to be a lot of fun, and I would like to show you. I mean we’ve been friends for so long now, it’s time… you’ll like it, I’m sure." Egon gripped the lubricant and a condom. "Just lower your trousers down."