Pairing: Mc/Saavik, K/S impl., Mc
Summary: McCoy’s memories of a special night
Timeframe: Between ST III and IV
Part of the Doctor-Fuh-Q-Fest at http://www.doctorfuhqfest.com.kg
Disclaimer: Paraborg/Viacom owns the whole Star Trek universe. I only borrowed a little part of it for some fun. No moneymaking, no offence of copyrights are intended. The story is mine and it is just fanfiction. If you are under age, please stay away. If you have a problem with this topic, then look elsewhere for your entertainment. English is not my native language, so please be patient with my mistakes. Thanks to T’Lin and Lady Charena for the beta. For all remaining errors, blame me.
Personal log, Doctor McCoy, Stardate…
…damn, who cares? And in fact I hardly know which date it is. Since we have reached Vulcan, time seems to stand still. And I didn’t care about any log. Who would be interested in it? Until yesterday at least. What happened then - well, I feel I should record it. Only for my own sake. I’m not going to show it to anybody - doctor’s confidentiality. And a promise I gave. I hope Jim and Spock will forgive me. As their friend I should have acted otherwise, but as a doctor I had no other choice.
So this is my story:
Yesterday I was walking trough the garden Amanda had created around her home. I admired the exotic flowers and trees, wondering how they could survive in the hot and dry Vulcan climate for the innumerable time since I’m here “imprisoned”. Time really had become boring these days. Spock is still recovering from the Fal-tor-pan. Jim is around him all the time, making sure his beloved remembers the special kind of relationship they had. As if Spock could ever forget. I don’t remember much of the time carrying his katra, but his love for Jim, their deep dedication to each other, is unforgettably burned in my memory. It doens't make things any easier to feel that you're becoming a grumpy old man, too far away from your only child, and spending far too much time alone out in space. But I’m deviating.
In any case, I haven't seen either of them much lately. Scotty is keeping to himself, Sulu and Chekov are busy with studying and advancing the technology of our stolen Bird of Prey. And Uhura had taken the opportunity to engage herself with old Vulcan dialects in a lesson at the VSA.
The healers told me, I’m fine and recovered from the unprepared hosting of a katra. Except for some headaches from time to time I feel well in general - and so I agree with them. Amanda and Sarek had invited me in their home, but the ambassador had already travelled to Earth. Nobody told me why, but I suspect that he was “testing the waters” regarding the question of what would happen if we return.
None of us had spoken about that topic so far, but having known Jim for decades now, I’m absolutely positive that the only option he sees is going back and justifying all his actions. The gods of the universe alone may know what will happen to him then. I just hope that Fleet will remember everything he has done for its sake as well as for the safety and peace of the Federation.
As for us others, I'm dertermined not to spend the rest of my life in Vulcan asylum, or even in flight from the Fleet. I can only assume the others feel the same way, so we may all have to face the music soon as well. But I’m deviating again.
The only company I had most the time was Amanda. She’s a kind person, no doubt. And she enjoys having another human around for quiet a while, however - slowly but steadily we run out of topics to talk about. So I, more often, spend my time with lonely walks through the garden. Or I just sit in some shadowed corner, musing until I fall asleep.
That also happened yesterday. “Doctor McCoy?” A female voice woke me. I blinked until my eyes had accustomed to the bright Vulcan sunlight again. Then I recognised my visitor. “Saavik.”
I rose to my feet. I hadn’t seen her since our arrival. I was told that she had reported - repeatedly - to the “big bosses” over our adventure and then had asked for vacation to settle private things. Theoretically she should be “off the hook”. She did nothing wrong except for helping us to come to Vulcan. And what had she should done instead? Taking five persons to prison? Alone? But the gods of the universe alone may know what’s going on in the brains of certain people.
Nevertheless her visit surprised me somewhat for the moment. I could see no logic in it. But when have I ever seen logic in Vulcan behaviour? On the other hand, she had been Spock’s protégé for years; maybe she had just come to inquire about his health. “Amanda has gone to town,” I told her. “But I, too, can tell you that Spock is getting better day to day. He surely will be his old self soon.”
“I know that,” she said, her face calm as it should be, seeing that she's a Vulcan, but somehow I found it never looks as unmoving as the others. Maybe her half-romulan heritage infects her more than she would confess. And she surely is a beauty - by standards of her people as well as in the eyes of a lonely old human man. “I have come seeking your assistance.”
Now this was another surprise. I was wondering, what she could possibly wish from me? She didn’t leave me unclear for long. “Please check me, doctor.”
The surprises didn’t end with her visit today - obviously. Why the hell did she come to me? We barely knew each other. And a Vulcan healer would be more appropriate for her special biology. And so I told her, but she insisted on being checked by me, and so I took her to my room.
There it took me awhile to adjust my devices. Her mixed heritage didn’t make it easy, of course. But finally I got some results. And to say they were surprising to me would be an understatement.
She held herself motionless, submitting to my investigation. She didn’t ask for the result and somehow I was sure she already knew them. As she finaly spoke I had my confirmation. “I am pregnant.” A statement, not a question.
“Yes,” I said. “You already knew, didn’t you?”
Saavik nodded. “But I needed a confirmation. Thank you, Doctor.”
Although she remained calm as usual I got the feeling that this pregnancy wasn’t at all a reason to be happy. She wasn’t bonded as far as I knew. Maybe this had been the “private things” she wanted to arrange. And then I nearly could hear the “click” in my brain. I didn't have to be a Vulcan super-brain to count one and one together - or better to count back until the presumable conception.
“Oh gosh.” She raised an eyebrow because of my proclamation. I felt pity for her. Although I didn’t know much about her past - whether she nor Spock had been very talkative about that and - in fact - I never had much business to do with her - but I knew that she had literally gone through hell in her childhood. And now that! I gazed at her, barely hiding the rage, which was building rapidly in me. "Did the Klingons...?"
I couldn’t voice the horrible idea, but she knew what I meant. “They did not rape me, doctor.”
I felt relieved but puzzled. If not the Klingons who then was the supposed father? She had been alone on Genesis with David and Spock. Spock! Another “click”. The Vulcan had grown up on the planet, if this meant that he had again endured pon farr… “Was it Spock… in pon farr?”
She matched my gaze. “Captain Spock reached pon farr on the Genesis planet, yes. To offer my assistance was the only logical choice.”
I wondered if she knew about Spock and Jim. Maybe the Vulcan had considered David a more appropriate choice. On second thought, the idea of him together with Jim’s son didn’t appeal to me any more than the knowledge that he had impregnate this young girl.
“You have to tell him,” I said and started to ask myself how Jim and Spock would react to this news. Spock hadn’t been himself at all on the planet. He was only a body, without any soul. So he hardly could be held responsible for his actions. Jim most likely would accept - I hoped, at least. Besides his own past as a “womanizer” when it came to Spock he could be jealous as hell. An heir -most likely - would delight Spock’s family.
“I cannot,” Saavik interrupted my musings. “Probably Captain Spock is not the father of my baby.”
And I had thought things couldn’t become more complicated! “You’ve slept with David as well?”
She nodded. “The Captain’s pon farr triggered certain… needs in myself. Usually this will be satisfied during the mating but without a mental union - which was impossible in the Captain’s state - they remained unresolved. David Marcus was a kind person, a person one could consider an appropriate mate and so I had no problem to agree to his offer of help.”
In other words: You had fallen in love with him, I added silently. Loudly I said. “It’s a wonder that you became pregnant at all. With your mixed heritage that should nearly be impossible. And neither Spock nor David should have been able to father your child without advanced medical help.”
“This was my opinion, too, Doctor. But as the facts prove it was wrong.”
I ran my scanner over her body again, and then shook my head. “It’s too soon to tell about the babies genes,” I said. “But whether it’s Jim’s grandchild or Spock’s child you should tell them.”
“No!” For the first time since all this started there was emotion in her voice. Desperation and… fear? “I know about the Admiral and the Captain and I will not destroy their relationship.”
“This honours you, but they have a right to know, don’t you think so? And especially you and your baby have certain rights and needs, which should be met. They can help you with everything.”
But Saavik remained stubborn. “Regarding to Vulcan traditions, Captain Spock may feel obligated to bond with me officially. Such a union is not desirable for any of the involved parties. And regarding the fact that the baby’s father is yet unknown, I cannot ask anything from him or the Admiral. Please, Doctor, do not tell them.”
“I’m bound to doctor’s confidentiality,” I answered, somewhat brusque, feeling slightly upset that she had the mere thought I could betray her trust. “You are not considering abortion?” I asked just for confirmation. If she did the whole talk had been senseless.
“I am determined to have the baby,” she confirmed.
I handed her the scanner, hoping she would know enough about her biology to understand the data as well or better then I could. “Then I would strongly suggest, that you seek the help of a Vulcan healer. As far as I can tell you have a hormonal imbalance which can be a great risk for the baby.”
She studied the data for a moment - with raised eyebrows. As she handed it back to me, there was a new determination in her voice. “That is the second reason I came to you, doctor. If the male Vulcan reaches pon farr the women’s body will prepare itself for conception. This includes hormonal changes of course. Because this mating was not consumed completely the changes in my physiology are as well incomplete.”
“What can we do to change this?” The moment I asked I got this sort of weak feeling in the stomach, which told me, in fact I didn’t want to know the answer. And my instincts were right.
“I need another sexual intercourse to increase my special female hormones.”
Suddenly my throat felt try. “With whom? If you don’t want to tell Spock…”
“I do not need the assistance of the Captain.” She stopped for a brief moment, then her dark eyes met mine, searching for an answer, she obviously hoped to get. “I ask you to be my mate in this case.”
I gulped, incapable of giving her an answer. I hardly could think. I found her attractive, yes, and I wasn’t committed to anyone, but as the old romantic I still was, I needed something more before I would think of having sex with someone.
She must have seen my doubts. “Doctor, you know that this whole case has to be treated confidentially. No matter who fathered my child - you are the Admiral’s and Captain’s best friend and you surely do not wish that I loose it.”
Of course she was right. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I hadn’t done anything to save the child. But could medical duty go so far? I wondered, was this all Vulcan logic or only determination? I saw the plea in her dark eyes. “Please, Doctor.”
I sighed. “Saavik, even if I would, I’m not a Vulcan. I can’t force my body to action.”
She jumped to her feet. “I will help you.”
And before I really had realised it, she had undressed herself with smooth motions, revealed a slender, muscular yet nevertheless female body, with just the right curves. As she reached for my shirt I stepped a step back. For a moment I thought of flight. This whole situation seemed to be so unreal, yes awkward. But then I said, “I’m only closing the door.” Somehow I still wonder, why I had agreed. Was it really the wish to help her, the baby and it’s supposed family - or was it my own loneliness? I could hardly remember the last time I was with a woman.
I made sure that the door was properly looked - not to think of, when we were caught - then undressed myself. My hands were shaking. Needless to say that I was far away from any erected condition. In fact I felt shy, like a teenager his first time. I nearly was blushing. Fortunately she did not scrutinise me with her gaze.
She just pushed me gently onto the bed and straddled my hips. I felt her lips brushing against mine. Carefully, probing at first but as I didn’t shove her away she applied more power to the kiss. To my surprise I soon was anticipating it with growing enthusiasm. I really had missed this. A warm body against mine, some tenderness, the feeling of nearness….
If I wanted it or not I’ve got to admit that I began to enjoy it. My hands began automatically to travel down her back. I could feel her strength. I knew that she could easily break my neck if she desired so. Fortunately she had other things in mind.
After she had thoroughly kissed me, she turned around to give her attention to lower parts of my anatomy. Her tongue - feeling warm and wet - licked around my already increasing shaft. As she nipped at the tip of my cock I couldn’t help myself and moaned. And then I found myself being sucked in such an incredible way that I nearly feared an overload in my nerves.
Where the hell had she learned that? She seemed to be such an innocent girl, especially if it comes to relationships, not to mention sexual intercourse. Maybe all Vulcans were natural talents. No wonder that Jim was such a happy man.
In any way I don’t remember how long she was assaulting me this way. The only thing I know is that this young Vulcan-Romulan half-breed gave me the best blowjob of my life. As I was thinking the next moment would be my undoing, she suddenly left me.
I remember my moan of disappointment, but it was gone immediately as she straddled me again, making sure that my cock was easily sliding in her body this time. I had closed my eyes during her sucking, now I opened them again. I wanted to see her face, wanted to know if she enjoyed it, too, or if all were only a logical action.
To my disappointment I saw no hint of any emotion or elation on her face. Damn, if I had to fuck her, she should enjoy it. Somehow in my dazzled brain rose the thought of making her come like neither Spock nor David could.
I reached out, stroking her breasts with my hands. Tenderly I pinched her nipples. As she moaned, I couldn’t help myself but grinning. The pregnancy had made them obviously already tender. I stroked down her body, resting for a moment on the flat belly. “It’s for you, baby.”
I must have voiced this thought aloud because for the first time since our fucking started she looked me right in the eyes. I smiled at her. “But it should be for you, too.” With this I rolled us around until I was hovering over her now.
With my cock still deep in her, I bent down to kiss her thoroughly. Then I gave her pointed ears some attention. I’ve got to admit that I always wondered if Vulcans were especially sensitive at the tips. I got the proof as she started to moan.
I continued kissing and nipping my way all over her face, throat and breasts as long as I could stand it. Slowly but steadily my imbedded cock was crying for release. I increased my speed, pushing in her, quicker and quicker, going as deep as I could.
She was trashing her head uncontrollably around the pillow. Her dark eyes were full of lust. I had reached my goal. And with this in mind I burst into a shattering climax, one of these special kinds, I hadn’t experienced often in my life, taking her with me over the edge.
It took a while until I slowly returned to reality. I rolled from her and lay aside, gasping heavily for air. She recovered much more easily but as she intended to rise I held her back. “Let me check you first,” I breathed.
Somehow I found the strength to come to my feet and reach for the scanner. It already detected an increasing of her hormones. As far as I could say at that moment everything seemed to settle in the right proportions.
As I told her so, I saw a glimpse of relief in her eyes. “Thank you, doctor. I will not forget what you have done.”
I still felt somehow dazed from the previous act, but as she had dressed herself and made intention to leave, I found the strength to hold her back. “You still will have to seek the help of a healer some day,” I said.
She nodded. “Yes, Doctor, I know that, but now there will be no data which can trigger his suspicion. And as you may know about Vulcan privacy rules nobody will ask me about the father of my child.”
I sighed. There may be no risk for her but the mere thought that this young woman had to undergo a pregnancy alone made my heart ache. It would be better if she had some assistance at all. “Maybe you should consider to confide in Amanda, if you need some help,” I advised her. “Probably you wouldn't have to tell her about the father, but I’m sure she would understand.”
She agreed, but somehow I doubt she will unless she gets in trouble. I also made her promise to let me check her again before I leave Vulcan, and to inform me when the baby is born. And I also asked her to tell me who the baby’s father is. That is, if Saavik ever tries to find out. If it's not obvious, as I assume it wouldn't be since the Vulcan genes will most likely be dominant in any case, I have my doubts that she will be interested in the truth.
So, that’s my story. As I woke today I thought for a moment all had been a dream. Then certain aches in my muscles told me that I’m getting to old for hot sex. I’ve enjoyed it - no doubt about that. There was no love but a mutual nearness and understanding.
What’s bothering me is not the fact that I’ve slept with Saavik but the consequences of all this. I’m not happy to hide something so important from Jim and Spock. In my opinion they deserve to know the truth. But of course I will relay to my confidentiality.
Maybe if David is the father Saavik will tell them. Jim would happily welcome her as a daughter and be a lucky grandfather. But I fear the odds are higher that it’s Spock’s baby. In this case they most likely will never now. And if they ever find out about it and my role in the whole case - I do not like to think of it yet.
In any case, I just hope that Saavik will have a healthy baby. Maybe she’s right and it’s better they don’t know about it. Spock hardly will remember his pon farr. For him Saavik is only a valued protégée. He and Jim are happily re-united.
So let it be. And this old country-doctor should be able to live with his secret.