Title: Lost in the light 1/1
Author: Lady Charena
<LadyCharena@aol.com>
Series: post-TOS, ST II
Part: NEW 1/1
Rating: NC-17
Codes: K/S
Feedback:
I'd like feedback very much. Please mail me at <LadyCharena@aol.com>
Summary:
Spock's death...
Note:
Sequel to "Lost
dreams", "Longing",
"The call" and "Consummation".
A change in time (memories) is again marked like this * // * //
Disclaimer:
Paramount/Viacom owns Star Trek. I borrowed a small part from it, to have some
fun with the Boys. The story is mine and only fanfiction - no moneymaking or
offence of copyrights intended.
If you are
under age, please stay away. If you have a problem with m/m-relations and -sex
- sorry, you've picked the wrong story for your entertainment. Please be
patient with any errors - English is not my native language.
My thanks
to my betas T'Len and to T'Boy, who did as usual a great job to correct my
mistakes. If there are any left, blame me.
Lost in the
light 1/1
**********************
by Lady
Charena
2000
His mind called
for the Vulcan, while he rushed to engineering. But Spock had closed the link,
as he left the bridge. All Kirk *received*, was a white rush, filling his mind
like a snowstorm.
His heart
threatened to blast his chest, as he arrived.
He could
feel Spock weaken, his shields buckling and partly breaking down. Freeing
himself from McCoy and Scotty's grip, he pressed his body to the glass-wall
parting them. *spock, don't leave me...*
He tried to
voice the words, but he couldn't... Only his mind screamed in silent horror.
But Spock
heard it anyway. Slowly he came to his feet, to him. Surrounding him with a
gentle mental embrace, like he had in the past.
*I am
sorry, jim... but it was logical...* Pain trickled through torn shields, nearly
breaking his control to shield the human from it. He wished he could see Jim...
This was ironic, to be blind for a second time in his life - but this time
without the comfort of strong, cool arms, holding him until the night would
end.
*spock...*
*hush, jim.
I am here...*
Spock's
mind brushed his again and memories flooded his consciousness. But not only *a*
memory - it was *the* memory from the night of nights... their first
lovemaking.
* //
* // * // *
There had
been a certain attraction between the two of them - from the moment, they met.
Something more than curiosity, more than simple desire.
Maybe
love... but on this first night, neither of them dared to speak of love.
On the desk
- which had functioned as dinner table - were the remains of a late dinner they shared an hour ago.
Now they
met over a chessboard - over a game, which couldn't take the main part of their
attention. Tonight they played another kind of game...
Spock leant
back in his chair, watching the human brooding over his response. He drank in
the sight of his Captain.
And as Jim
reached to move one of the figures, fingers closed around his hand. He lifted
his head... and smiled. "Enough of chess, first officer?" he asked.
Spock
nodded.
Jim got up,
to stand beside the still sitting Vulcan. His hands on Spock's shoulders, he
bent his head to capture thin lips with his own.
There was
no hesitation, no false shyness in Spock's return - only the strange
familiarity, they felt not for the first time. Heat seared through his shirt,
where hot vulcan hands touched his chest. Sliding up over his arms, shoulders -
to cup his face, as Spock deepened the kiss, thrusting his tongue in a cool,
willing mouth.
Jim pulled
his head back.
"Doubts?"
the Vulcan asked.
But the
human shook his head. "Just a silly question - my quarters or yours?"
Spock's
answer was to push him in the direction of Kirk's bed.
* * *
They
learned each other with hands, mouths, tongues. Nibbling, stroking, touching,
probing... till they both trembled with arousal.
With a
swift movement, Spock flipped the human on his back, bending to cover the
straining cock with his lips. Cool fingers slid through his hair, cupping his
head. But after a moment, Spock freed himself from Kirk's grip to get up.
Jim opened
his eyes and found himself alone on the rumpled bed. "But this... cannot
be... I can't dream!" he whispered.
A movement
at the door to their shared bathroom ... Spock was standing there - naked,
aroused. He crossed the distance to the bed, a silver tube in his hand.
"You
dreamt of me?" he asked, as he straddled the human.
Jim nodded,
capturing thin lips for a demanding kiss. "I did," he whispered.
"Many nights since the day we met first..."
There was
this half-smile on Spock's face, only a slight arch of the corners of his
mouth.
And the
human knew, he was lost.
"You
will never again dream alone, Jim." Spock's words followed a not-so-soft
bite in his chin. "For now I claim your dreams." He gasped, as cool
fingers closed around his hard penis, starting to milk him.
"Don't
let me wait, then."
Spock's
head lolled back, a moan came over his lips. But after a moment, he disengaged
himself from the human's touch, pushing him flat on his back again.
Locking his
eyes with Jim's, he opened the tube, squeezing some of its content on his palm.
He started to spread the lube on his erection.
For a
moment, there seemed to be defiance in the hazel eyes of the human, who was
used to be the one in command... but then he turned.
The smile
on Spock's lips deepened. He was sure, there were not many who could say, that
the proud Captain of the Enterprise bent to their will...
Carefully
he started to prepare Jim, pleased as the human soon groaned and pushed back
against his touch. He stopped and bent his head, to nip at the soft flesh in
Jim's neck, revelling in the slightly salty taste of his skin. His hands slid
beneath the human, to play with hard nubs, till Jim arched against him,
moaning, mumbling his protest.
The Vulcan
pulled him to his hands and knees, centred his erection on the entrance to
Jim's body and started to push in, while his hand reached for the human's cock.
* * *
Some time
later, after the malfunction of the transporter, which parted the human into
two persons, Spock touched Jim's mind for the first time.
Patiently
he tried to teach Jim the vulcan way of touching more than mortal flesh. It was
just a partial success. Most times, he was unable to achieve deeper levels of
the meld. They thought, all it would have taken, was more time...
* // * // * // * //
The sweet
memory ended and Jim found himself once more pressed against a glass-wall.
Slowly Spock's mind-touch vanished, leaving him alone...
He'd never
felt this alone in his life before.
* * *
The years
since Spock's pon farr had blurred into indistinct pictures, brushed aside from
the passing time like leaves in an autumn storm.
After the
end of their second five-year-mission, Jim was once more promoted to HQ and found
himself behind a desk. But this time Spock was at his side and this made the
difference. They shared their life - with one exception: they were not lovers
anymore.
Spock
accepted a posting at the Starfleet academy, to teach cadets and sometimes Jim even
joined him for a training-trip. Like this one. Which had ended with so much
pain and death. Spock's death.
* * *
He went
through the days till their arrival on Earth like a marionette, not thinking,
not feeling. He'd lost more than a former lover, a close friend - a mate... he
seemed to have lost the better part of himself, a part of his soul.
As long as
he did not think, not feel, he could function. Could bring the ship back to
Earth. Could endure ever-lasting meetings and answer uncounted questions. So he
existed... till Sarek came to him.
* * *
The passing
years had changed nothing of the contempt of the older Vulcan. Sarek wouldn't
forgive the betrayal of his son - even if Spock had...
The touch
of his mind was cold, clinical - but couldn't hide everything. Jim shied back
from him, but suddenly he shared the pain and the hopelessness of the Vulcan,
the near desperation that Spock's Katra would be lost.
Sarek
started to break the meld, until he felt a trace of his son's presence in
Kirk's mind. He followed the nearly invisible, silver thread deeper in the
human's unconsciousness, where it rooted. A remnant of a bond, never allowed to
grow up, never acknowledged by the human. With Spock dead, it should be a
lifeless thing, but it was not, connecting Kirk even now with Spock's Katra.
Which meant
it was not lost...
He broke
the meld, more gently than he had intended. Watched the disbelief in the
human's eyes changing to hope, as he understood.
"Who,
Kirk?"
They needed
half an hour to discover, that it was McCoy...
to
be continued...
********************************************
The last
part coming up soon!
Its called
"Say my name"
CU
LadyCharena
Continued in Say my name