2002 ASC Award: The newsgroup would like to

recommend: TOS Humor or Parody


 2002 Golden Orgasm Award: Third Place (tie) TOS Humor


Always this Interferences






Series. TOS

Pairing: K/S

Code: NC-17, humour

Feedback: to tlen11@freenet.de

Summary: A tete-a-tete between Jim and Spock does not take the desired route

Sequel to the drabble “Egg-Quest


Disclaimer: Paraborg/Viacom owns the whole Star Trek universe. I only borrowed a little part of it for some fun. No moneymaking, no offence of copyrights are intended. The story is mine and it is just fanfiction.


If you are under age, please stay away. If you have a problem with m/m-sex and relationships, then look elsewhere for your entertainment. English is not my native language, so please be patient with my mistakes. T’Lin and Lady Charena did a really great job to correct my errors, not to mention all the suggestions she gave. My greatest gratitude to her. For all remaining errors, blame me.



„Finally alone.“ Jim Kirk drove his arms around his lover and satisfied his hunger for Spock momentarily with a few passionate kisses. Then he glanced around the glade where they had stopped.


Bushes and trees provided privacy. The green grass looked inviting. The sun was giving enough warmth to feel comfortable.


„Perfect.“ Jim nodded and then turned around to face Spock. He rose onto his toes, to be able to nip at the pointed ear in delight. In the meanwhile, his hands found their way under Spock’s blue shirt.


But the Vulcan remained passive. „Hey, what’s wrong?“ Jim nudged him playfully. “You really can be a bit more participating.“


„Jim are you really sure?“ Spock’s question sounded extremely sceptical.


Kirk sulked  „Come on, love, we had this discussion already aboard. You agreed to the bet - if I was able to win the chess game, we would *delight* ourselves for a while. To do it in the fresh air is definitely something special." His hands tenderly stroked over the green nipples as an underscore to his arguments.


„But if someone detects us here?“


“Silly thing, who would disturb us. Everyone else is at the Easter party down on the lake.“ His hands tugged into the Vulcan’s trouser-band. Jim’s mouth neared the green lips.


Suddenly both men were startled from a cracking in the bush. „Just an animal,“ Jim said calmingly but approaching voices proved him wrong. Reluctantly Jim let go of his lover and walked a few steps away.


A giggling pair entered the glade. „Lieutenant Miller and Ensign Smith,“ Jim nodded coldly in their direction after the young man from security and the woman from the astrophysical lab greeted him and Spock. „Why aren’t you at the party?“


„Err… Captain, Mr. Spock.” Miller quickly let go off Smith’ hands. „We... err... wanted to observe the planets flora for a while.“ He stuttered.


“Do this somewhere else.“ Kirk ordered.


„Of course, Sir.“ Both crewmembers turned quickly around and hurried away.


Spock gave Jim an “I-have-told-you-so-look”. “That was only an unlucky coincidence,” Jim said. He pulled Spock into his arms. "Where were we?”


„Jim, do you not think we should go back to the ship?“


Kirk released Spock. „No chance, Mister.“ He gestured to the grass and their picnic basket. „I have anticipated this all week. Let’s make ourselves comfortable. You can spread the blanket out.“


Immediately after the blanket was laid on the soft grass Jim stretched out on it, pulling Spock down with him. Enthusiastically his hands roamed once again under the blue shirt, impatiently tugging on it. „You can - at least - help me a little bit.”


Obediently Spock lifted his arms so that Jim was able to pull the shirt over his head. Quickly Kirk removed his own shirt. Then his tongue, teeth and lips enthusiastically gave their full interest to a couple of green nipples.


„Hm, you taste better than any picnic,“ he whispered. Hungry for a few delicious and hot kisses he slid up along Spock’s body when suddenly a well-known voice appeared. „Jim, Spock, where are you?“


„Oh, no.“ Softly cursing, Jim rose up just in time to see McCoy burst on the glade. His swaying walk showing clearly that he had already drunk too much from the Easter punch at the party.


„Ah, here's where you're hiding,“ the doctor babbled. „We... hicks... have missed you. What... hicks... are you doing here?“


„We have a picnic, Bones. You should see this. And we would like to remain alone.“ Jim’s voice would have made a polar bear freezing.


Fortunately McCoy understood and disappeared „Okay, I'm going ... hicks... if you don’t want to share your picnic with me. But you should... hicks... put your shirts on, otherwise you risk… hicks… a sunburn.”


„Don’t say it!“ Jim said to Spock immediately after McCoy was gone. „We proceed with this, and that's that.“


Resolutely he pushed Spock back onto the blanket. The Vulcan resigned himself to the inevitable and allowed Jim to remove his shoes and trousers. Quickly the Captain undressed himself, too.


“That’s fine.“ Jim snuggled closely to Spock. The sun felt comfortably warm on his skin, but to feel Spock underneath him, was yet far more comfortable.


Again Jim started to lick and bite Spock’s nipples, between that he slid upwards for a few kisses or a nibbling at the sexy, pointed ears. It didn’t take long before the Vulcan’s resistance had completely melted like ice in the sun.


Spock reciprocated on their lovemaking with increasing enthusiasm. His hands slid down the human’s back. Jim groaned as strong hands kneaded his buttocks. As a hot finger finally teased his anus, then entered carefully, Kirk pressed more closely to the hot body underneath him. His erection rubbed against an equally hard organ.


„Let me taste you, Spock. Please!“ Jim breathed with desire. Of course Spock was not able to resist. He pulled his finger back and Jim slid down the slim body.


He gave the navel a quick lick then his lips travelled down the long, hard vulcan shaft. Spock twisted his fingers in Jim’s blond hair. As Jim’s tongue flickered between the double ridges of his penis, he ceased his silence. An aroused moan of “Oh, Jim!” escaped his mouth.


Full of anticipation Jim closed his lips around the head of the hard cock then flinched, startled by something tickling him in a very intimate spot on his body. „Spock, what are you doing?“


The Vulcan lifted his head and the left brow. „Nothing, Jim,“ he assured his mate with a hoarse voice.


„But something is tickling my... ants!“ Jim jumped to his feet as he became aware of the little insects, which were crawling over his penis. „You have laid the blanket in the middle of an ant-hill.“


With desperation he tried to shake the ants off himself. „I’m allergic to this beasties,“ he explained.


„Jim, I assure you I did not know...“ Spock rose to his feet and helped Jim remove the animals from his body. But Kirk didn’t calm down.


„You were right, this whole picnic was a silly idea. We return to the ship immediately. There - at least - we have our quiet cabins. I only hope I don’t get any rash. I can already here Bones' laughter when I have to explain this to him.”


He reached for his communicator, which was lying on the ground. „Kirk to Enterprise. Two to beam...“ He stopped as Spock hurriedly grabbed his arm. “What now? You were against this from the beginning. Have you now changed your mind?“


Spock shook his head and pointed at their still completely naked bodies. „You have forgotten something important, Jim.“