How I come to love Mondays 1/1

Author: Lady Charena <LadyCharena@aol.com>

Series: TOS, ST V

Part: NEW 1/1

Rating: NC-17

Codes: K/S, first time

Feedback: I'd like feedback very much. Please mail me at <LadyCharena@aol.com>

Summary: On their camping trip to Yosemite Kirk has to face some - after all not *that* quite surprising - news.

Note: This is an answer to T'Lens marvellous story "Aloha Hawaii". After I read her story several times, I *had* to write this down. Sorry, but your last sentence was a challenge too tempting to resist... :-)

Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom owns Star Trek. I borrowed a small part from it to play with the Boys. The story is mine and fanfiction - no moneymaking or offence of copyrights intended.

If you are under age, please stay away. If you have a problem with m/m-relations and -sex - sorry, you've picked the wrong story for your entertainment. Please be patient with any errors - English is not my native language.

Note: This was not beta-read from a native-English beta. Blame me for errors.

How I come to love Mondays 1/1

**************************************

by Lady Charena

Sept 2000

"It seems something troubles you, Captain."

The soft voice of his friend startled him from his bittersweet reverie of former lovers. Female lovers, to be precise. He turned to face the Vulcan, who stood only a few steps behind his seat.

"It's nothing, Spock. Walk with me?" He gestured toward the small path, leading to a little stream they discovered earlier this day.

For a while they walked side by side, enjoying the faint noises of the sleepy nature, the soft bubbling of the tiny river, as they watched the sun vanishing behind El Cap.

"Why did you come after me?" Kirk asked suddenly. "Afraid, I could get lost?"

With McCoy felt asleep and Spock seemed to be meditating beside the fire, he had gave into his uneasiness and left their camp.

At least he was tiered enough to stop. After reaching the top of a small hill, he set down onto a flat rock to think. The trees surrounding him seemed oddly whispering to each other in the approaching dusk. There it had been, where Spock had found him, musing idly about his life.

The Vulcan turned his eyes to him. "After witnessing Dr. McCoys snoring for several minutes, I decided that I was not that sleepy."

Oh god, how he ad missed this. Spock’s dry humour, his unfailing talent to cheer up his mood with a remark like this. How he had missed Spock...

Jim smiled. "So, he did disturb your meditation?"

The Vulcan shook his head. "No, actually you did."

Even in the remaining faint light he could see the seriousness in the dark eyes of his friend. This was now no banter anymore.

Jim swallowed. "I'm sorry, it was not my intention, to... to be an nuisance." He turned his eyes back to the El Cap, to fasten his gaze onto the distant mountain. Maybe he would do some climbing tomorrow...

He flinched almost, as Spock laid a hand onto his shoulder.

"Jim, you have never been a nuisance to me. It is not your fault, that I am not able to achieve a deeper level of meditation," he explained. "Even after the recovery from my fal tor pan, there is some healing left to do. My telepathy works very unreliable. Sometimes I am not able to shield myself from strong emanations, from fleeting thoughts of the people surrounding me."

Jim turned, to face the Vulcan fully. "Like tonight?" he asked gently.

Spock nodded. "Yes, Jim. I felt your sadness, your loneliness. So I came after you."

"Why?" Jim asked, feeling a wave of aching tenderness for this special man rising up in his chest. He wanted to reach out to him, hold him - and be held in reverse.

Spock fastened his eyes to the ground. "Because I feel the same."

* * *

For a long time there was only silence between the two of them, sitting now side by side on the body of a fallen tree. Meanwhile the stars cast their bright glow over the serene landscape, enough for the two men to see each other and their immediate surroundings.

"That's a surprise. Not that you feel, I knew this a long time - but to hear you actually admitting it." Kirk had a picked up a branch, drawing a pattern with it into the ground. "McCoy would have a field-day, hearing this."

"It is not logical, to deny ones nature," Spock replied after a moment softly. "Jim, tell me what it is, what troubles you that much?"

"My life's got pretty turned upside down since I lost you." Kirk could have bitten his tongue, blurting it out like this - almost like an accusation.

But Spock tilted only his head to one side, his usual manner of listening.

"Suddenly was nothing *right* anymore."

This was something he never admitted before - not to McCoy, not to anyone. "God Spock, at some days I really lost grip on reality. You know - drinking too much, thinking too much. Thinking about..." He felt silent.

"Thinking about...?" Spock repeated gently.

Kirk lifted his head. "You," he said simple. "And all the times I fooled death. This time I lost the gamble - but you were the one to pay the price."

"It was not your fault. It was my decision - and the logical one. There was no other choice to make." Spock sized the too silent human. "I have never meant to hurt you," he continued, his voice now a mere whisper.

"You left me. I begged you to stay, but you had to leave me. At this moment I felt something dying inside me. I felt so alone ever since."

All the sudden he seemed to change the subject. "Last week I went to see Gillian on Hawaii." He laughed. "Thinking I could charm my way into her pants, like I used to do in the past. Thinking she could fill the emptiness inside me." More laughter, but pain shone in the hazel eyes. "She turned me down. It seems like I lost my old charm."

"Jim, this..."

But Kirk cut in, shaking his head. "Never mind, Spock. It's something I have do deal with alone."

He smiled. "I shouldn't have spoken of this. It's past bedtime. We should go back to the camp, before McCoy's missing us." He got up and turned away - but the Vulcan followed him, grabbing his hand.

"Stay. Jim, wait," softer: "Please." Kirk turned slowly, opening his mouth to ask.

"Do not leave me now," Spock whispered.

Jim swallowed, seeing naked pleading in the Vulcan's eyes. Gently he pushed Spock back to the fallen tree, guiding him down to sit on it. Then he knelt in front of his dear friend, taking both his hands into his own. "What's wrong, Spock? I've never seen you like this before."

There was actually a tiny, sad smile playing around thin lips.

"I too, am not familiar with this. Over the years I did my best not to get too familiar with my feelings. Jim, there is something you had to know."

Spock lifted his head and their gazes locked, before he continued to speak. "I always valued your friendship highly, your acceptance of my ways. But..."

"What, Spock?", nudged Kirk gently, as den Vulcan kept his silence, averting his eyes anew.

He heard a soft sign. "But since my *death* I felt the desire, to be with you in every way possible. To share my life with you, as long as you wish me to do so." Spocks voice was very low in the peace of the night.

It took Jim a moment to realise the elegant proposition as such.

"Spock?" he asked. "Did you just say you're in love with me?"

There was a twinkle in the dark orbs, as the Vulcan lifted his eyes, to meet his. "Yes, Jim."

* * *

"This is... quite unexpected," Kirk answered after awhile.

Spock shook his head. "Is it really?" he asked. "We grow close over the years. We shared so much - discoveries, dangers, and joys. You even shared your mind with me. For a Vulcan, this is more important then the sharing of bodies in human fashion."

Jim looked into eyes full of emotion, never admitted before. And it seemed right. The soft starlight wiped most of the deep wrinkles out off the stern face. Suddenly the nagging uneasiness vanished, leaving peace behind.

This was a chance for a new life with someone he cared deeply for. Someone who loved him. A chance for a life with Spock.

He lifted his hands to cup Spocks face. "So... you're saying, you're not interested in sharing bodies in the human fashion?" he teased. And smiled, as a slight blush felt over the Vulcan's features.

But the gaze of dark eyes never wavered. "I am interested to join my body to yours, extremely so. I would like to join with you in every way possible."

Was this the Vulcan way of saying: 'I want you'? Jim decided to find it out. He pulled Spock down beside him, pushing him flat onto his back on the mossy ground. Bending his head, he captured the thin lips in a gentle kiss, to start a more thorough exploration.

They parted willingly, letting him inside. Their tongues met, duelling gently, but with rising hunger. Maybe it should have felt strange, kissing Spock after all these years of chaste friendship... but it didn't. This was something else... like coming home at least, after a long journey.

The familiar tingling spread from his groin through his whole body. He released the hot mouth and locked his gaze with Spocks. A silent exchange - the human asking, the Vulcan giving consent. And then Jim slid his hands over the shirt, to open one button after the other, revealing dark curls. He smiled, as Spock's fingers helped him to discard his own shirt. Neither of them felt the cooler air of the night on their naked skin, warmed by a fire burning inside, as they touched.

Spock moaned, as Jim kissed his way down the neck, nibbling here, sucking there, leaving a mark behind. A tremor run through him, as Jim found his nipples, teasing the nubs with teeth and tongue erect. He followed then the small trail of hair, down the flat stomach.

"Jim..."

He rested his head on Spock's side, feeling the flutter of the Vulcan heart beneath his cheek. "Yes, love?" he whispered, placing a kiss just over the navel.

"Do not stop..." Spocks voice was ragged and barely recognisable.

The trembling increased, as he opened the clasp on Spocks pants, pushing them down the long legs, releasing at least the straining cock.

"*Extremely interested," he teased. "I see."

His tongue darted out, to lick over the shining head of the erect organ, tracing the double ridges. He would definitely enjoy this...

Pushing the unresisting legs further apart, to gain better access, he started to suck, caressing heavy balls. With the other hand he opened his pants to release his own needful cock.

But Spock stopped him, shoving his hand aside, guiding the human on top of him. Jim cupped his face with both hands, kissing him, as he started to trust against the hot body.

The Vulcan came first, arching against him. And Jim bent again his head, to drink the strangled cry from his lover's lips. He opened his eyes to see the spellbound look on Spocks face. It was enough, to push him over the edge, too.

* * *

For a while they laid like this, entwined, sated, breathless.

Jim at least, lifting his head from the Vulcan's chest, started to close the buttons of the shirt. He stilled Spocks Protest with a gentle kiss.

"It's gonna be too cold for you, lying there almost naked," he whispered. Once the Vulcan was proper dressed once again, he fastened his own clothes. Sitting near Spock, but without actually touching him, he absently stroked up and down a lean thigh. "We should go back to the camp."

Spock caught his hand, to place a tender, lingering kiss into the palm.

"Not yet, t'hy'la. In the morning will be early enough. I need to hold you in my arms tonight."

With a smile brushed Kirk his lips over the Vulcan's, before settling down in Spocks embrace. He certainly liked the feel of the warm, relaxed body beneath him.

Delivering one more gentle kiss, he whispered. "You never cease to amaze me, Spock. I think, I'm in love with you." He stilled the answer with his fingertips. "Hush, not now. I know." He rested his head against Spock's chest; listening to the steady, slow breathing.

And as Spock slept, he silently left his embrace, pacing a few steps away.

He gazed to the stars; seeking... he didn't know what he was seeking. Answers? Guidance? There was so much to discuss, so much to consider. He had had over the years a few male lovers, but he never considered before living in a homosexual union. And he surely never expected to fall in love with Spock. What - he realized now - exactly was, what he did tonight. Or maybe it started long ago in the past? And there was this *little* matter of joining minds, which was so important for a Vulcan. But this could - have to - wait till later. He felt suddenly cold inside - there were so many questions and so few answers. But then he gazed back to Spock, remembering the love shining in dark eyes. And went back to him, to snuggled up to his still sleeping Vulcan.

Yeah, this was definitely better...

He yawned, thinking of white sand and blue water, a little beach cabin. With a king-sized waterbed... :)

Tomorrow he would ask Spock to go with him to Hawaii the next week.

End

Continued in A taste of paradise