2000 Golden Orgasm Award: Second Place (tie) TNG Humor









Series. All

Pairings: TOS: K/S, Mc/Sc, Su/C; TNG: P/We, R/W, D/L; DS9: S/G, B/O’B, N/J, O/Q, R/M; VOY: P/K, C/Tu, N/D

Code: NC-17

Feedback: tlen11@freenet.de

Summary: Sex, sex, sex ….


Disclaimer: Paraborg/Viacom owns the whole Star Trek universe. I only borrowed  - this time - a big part of it for some fun. No moneymaking, no offence of copyrights are intended. The story is mine and it is just fanfiction.


If you are under age, please stay away. If you have a problem with explicit m/m-sex, then look elsewhere for your entertainment. English is not my native language, so please be patient with my mistakes. T’Boy did a really great job to correct my errors. My greatest gratitude to her. For all remaining errors, blame me. And thanks to Lady Charena for her always loving support.


I don’t know what had hit me to write this down. Probably it was the talk with a friend about every male-couple we could imagine in the ST universe. So please don’t call the doctor, I’ll try to go back to normal. <g>




“Jim, I really can not see any sense in this.” Spock’s eyebrow rose to new heights as he followed Jim Kirk into the sleeping room.


“Spock, I’ve won the game and we agreed that the winner can voice a wish. And the loser has to fulfill it.” Jim drove his arms around the Vulcan, pulling him close. “And I want you to fuck me now. And I want it hard and fast.” He whispered in a pointed ear.


“But Jim, should not be the punishment for the loser be less pleasant. I would gladly indulge in such activities without regard to the result of a previous chess game. You should know this.”


“Of course I know, dear. It’s just more fun when we play such games from time to time.”


“I still can not see any …”


 Jim silenced any further comment with a fierce kiss.




“Wesley, please come in.” The young man hesitated for a brief moment before he stepped on the bridge. It was empty except for Captain Picard.


“Wesley, today you have acted very childishly. You have endangered the whole ship. We may have all died. For this you deserve punishment.”


Wesley lowered his gaze to the floor. “But you also have saved the ship and us all. For this you deserve a reward. Come here.”


The young man obeyed instantly. His eyes grew wide with surprise as he had a full look at the captain. The older man was sitting in his chair with his trousers down and a very erect cock standing straight up.


Subconsciously Wesley licked his lips at the alluring sight.


“I know you always wished to sit in my chair.” Picard stated with a smile. “Would you like to sit down now?“




“Then please, lower yourself.”




“You’re looking pleasantly handsome in this new uniform, Captain Sisko.” The Cardassian tailor stroked admiringly over perfectly rounded buttocks. “Indeed very pleasant.”


“But it’s a little bit tight in the front right now, Garak.”


The tailor glanced around the captain and looked in the big mirror, which covered one wall of the small dress cabin. There was indeed a growing bulge clearly visible in the pants front.


“I’ll take care of it personally, Captain.” With that Garak stroked over the bulge, then unfastened the fly.




Chakotay shook his head. “Tuvok, as much as I enjoy our mental union, don’t you think we should train our bodies as well as our minds for your pon farr?”


The Vulcan arched an eyebrow. “This would be a logical act, indeed.”


“Then.” Chakotay rose to his feet and reached for the fly of his pants. “I suggest we take our clothes off.”




Quark sighed and felt like in heaven. That much latinum! He never had made such a pleasant business before.  “I’m rich. I’m rich. I’m richer then Nagus Zek”, he murmured over and over again.


Then he reached out to touch one of the latinum bars. He stroked it tenderly and felt its cold texture. Slowly, oh so slowly he traced it over the skin at his arms. “Oh, that’s good.” He moaned. “Better then any women I ever had. Nothing can satisfy as much as money.”


He pushed the bar into his left ear and reached for his fly and another bar.




“You’ve called for me, Scotty?” Leonard McCoy entered the engineer’s cabin. “What’s your problem?”


The Scotsmen was laying on his bed, naked, cock half erect. “I can’t sleep, Len. I’ll need some of your personal medicine.”




“Geordie, what is the most human feeling one can experience?”


LaForge sighed, obviously somewhat unnerved from Data’s continued questioning. “It’s hard to explain, Data. Would you like me to show you?”


The android nodded. “That would be acceptable.”


“Geordie stood up from his seat. “Then please, lower your pants.”




“Do you want to know something I learned at the academy?” Nog approached his friend who was writing at his desk.


Jake stood up and shook his head. “What can you learn there? How to use weapons and how to lead wars. I’m not interested in that.”


“But I learned something more.” Nog stroked seductively over his groin. “Mostly how to use my own weapon. Caring for a demonstration?”




“Tom, you’re not going to Sandrine’s in this outfit?” Harry Kim entered Tom Paris’ cabin and stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the young lieutenant naked except for a pair of short briefs.


Tom smiled. “Of course not. I think it’s time that we stop playing billiards and go over to more adult games.”


“Adult games?” Harry was obviously surprised.






“Oh, come on. You know what I mean.  I suck you. You suck me. Then I fuck you. Then you fuck me.”




Rom stepped into the dark room.


“How may I be of service, Morn? Why haven’t you called for me in private?”


He stepped closer.


 “Oh, sure I can do that. Yes I have experience with men. What do you think was the reason Nog’s mother left me?”


He pushed his pants down.


“Okay, I’m ready. You can start.”




“I say we Russians have invented it.” Pavel Chekov swirled the vodka in his glass, then gulped it in one long swig.


Hikaru Sulu shook his head. “That’s crap. Everybody knows that the ancient Greeks already knew and lived out homosexuality.”


Pavel smiled challengingly. “Shall I prove to you the truth?”




Will Riker groaned as sharp Klingon teeth raked over his erect penis. “Oh Worf, you suck much better than anybody else, even better then Deanna.”


Worf let go of the human organ and raised his head as Riker captured the Klingon’s manhood with a knowing mouth. “I just wanted to say the same about you, Commander.”




“Are you really stronger, more persistent and better in any matter than we normal humans?” Miles O’Brien asked as he entered the holo-chamber together with Julian Bashir.


“Sure.” The young doctor smiled.


“Really in every case?” Miles’ glance in the direction of his companions groin showed clearly which case he meant.






“Doctor, what are you doing?” The Talaxian looked somewhat surprised as the hologram before him changed his appearance from the standard uniform to a naked body.


“Neelix, you wanted to know more about human male sexuality. Now I’m going to show you by example.”


“What do you mean, Doctor?  Besides, it seems you humans do not appear to be as different from us as I thought.


“That’s correct Neelix. Like the Talaxians the human male owns a phallus also named penis or more ordinarily, cock which is used for putting in the female’s vagina or the anus of another man with the determination to achieve climax and ejaculate the mans seed in the others body. In the case of natural procreation there had to be used a female body. But for pleasure one may use a male’s body as well. I will give you a practical demonstration.”


“Doctor, what do you doing now?” The Talaxian was even more surprised as the hologram undressed him and bent him over the next bio-bed.


“I’m giving you a first handed demonstration of human sex.”


“But you are a hologram. You can’t do this”


“Believe me, I can. I will have all the substance we need.” And with that he shoved his holographic cock up the very real ass of the Talaxian.


“Oh gosh, Doctor. What are you doing now? Oh … you have put something in my … my …. What have you called it? Unas? Al the same … my ass-hole. Is this your phullas? Err ... pines? Damn, what did you name this large, big thing of yours? Ah .. that feel’s good. Oh, why do you withdraw it now? Please let it stay where it is. It’s incredible. I love the way humans have sex. You must be lucky people. Oh … you thrust now. That feels good, too. Oh yes, thrust again. Ahhhh … now you’ve hit something in me. Ah, yes. Again, please. Yesssss….”


“Neelix, please shut your mouth and just let me fuck you in silence.”




Miles O’Brien braced himself against the wall of the holo-chamber and groaned. “Oh gosh, Julian. I can’t take it any more.”


Julian Bashir thrust hard against the limp body beneath him. “You wanted to know how strong I am, now don’t complain.”


Miles shook his head. “You’ve already shown me. You have made me come in three shattering climaxes. And you’ve come at least six or seven times in my ass.”


Julian thrust again. “That’s nothing. I can come at least twenty times before I’m satisfied. And we have this chamber for another hour.”


Miles winced. “Oh gosh. I won’t survive this.”






“Oh yes, Worf. Harder, stronger, faster! I love it.” Will Riker shouted and tried to impale himself on the hard Klingon rod up his human ass as Worf bit his neck simultaneous with his furious fucking.






Hikaru Sulu knelt on his hands and feet on the floor of his cabin. The happy look on his face showed clearly that he enjoyed the silent fucking he got from his dear buddy Pavel Chekov.


The young Russian rammed in and out Sulu’s tight channel, simultaneously stroking and milking the others cock with his hands.


Then he broke the amicable silence. “Do you now believe me that we Russian invented ass-fucking?”






Rom pulled his pants on again. “That’s it already?” He sounded disappointed.


“You’re such a big guy I thought you would be big everywhere.”


He hurried to the door.


“No, I didn’t feel anything nor am I satisfied. And Morn please, your talking all the time during your…err attempt to fuck me… was very disgusting.”




Harry Kim raised his ass a little bit higher, spread his legs even wider as Tom Paris eased his penis out of his tight channel, then pushed hard in again.


“I love your games, Tom.” Harry groaned.


“Yes, yes. Me, too.” Tom panted and reached for his friend’s cock. He increased his thrusting speed, then cried: “I’m coming, I’m …”




“Oh, you know how to use your weapon.” Jake braced himself against his desk as Nog rammed forcefully into him.


“So you think I’ve learned my lectures on the academy well?” The Ferengi withdrew then pushed his cock back in, moaning with pleasure.


His moans were answered from an eagerly anticipating human. “Oh yes. And it’s true what they say about men with big ears. They are indeed big elsewhere as well.”




“Geordie, what are you doing?” Data couldn’t hide his curiosity about the strange behavior of his friend. Geordie had taken off his trousers, placed the Android against the next wall and was now inserting his stiff cock in Data’s rectum.


“I’m going to show you, what it means to be human.” Geordie breathed heavily.


“With an homosexual encounter with me?” Data still couldn’t understand.


Geordie pushed deeper into the channel. “Sex is the most human action I can think of.” He moaned. “And to fuck you is something I always wanted to do.”




“I need it.” Montgomery Scott pushed back as Leonard McCoy was inserting his very own “syringe” in the engineer’s anus. “You medicine is the best. You’re the best, Len.”


“It’s my pleasure to make home visits with you.” Leonard McCoy pushed deeper in and groaned.




“Oh yes, yes! I’m coming!!!” He pushed the bar deeper in his ear and cried out as it suddenly changed its shape. Instead of a cold bar of gold pressed latinum he hold a slippery mass in his hand.


Quark jumped to his feed and stared in shocked surprise at the mass, which slowly took the shape of Odo.


“You are arrested”, the security chief stated plainly.


“Why?” Quark shrieked, still shocked.


“For an illegal business and sexual abuse.”


“Oh come on, don’t tell me you haven’t enjoy it.”




“Oh gosh.” Chakotay breathed heavily as a strong Vulcan cock was piercing him forcefully from behind.  “You’re so good, Tuvok, so big and hard and strong. I can hardly wait until you’re in pon farr. I feel I need to get fucked and fucked and …”


The Vulcan arched an eyebrow. “In that case, Commander, I shall inform you that I have just entered to first stage of pon farr. I shall be able to fulfill your need for at least the next seven days.”


“Oh gosh.”




“How do you find my very personal tailor toll?” With that the Cardassian thrust his penis in the captain’s waiting ass, watching Benjamin Sisko’s reaction in the mirror.


“Very good, Garak, very good.” Ben pushed back, impaling himself further on the big alien cock. “I enjoy your personal service.”


“It’s always my pleasure, Captain.”




“You’re so tight, Wes.” Picard pushed up again in the boy’s tight opening.


“Yes, yes …!” The young man, sitting in his lap, panted with excitement.


“Do you like it, Wes?” Picard thrust harder.


“Oh, yes. Yes! I promise, I’ll save the ship every day, if I can get this reward for it.”




Jim Kirk grabbed the edge of his bed. “Oh, yes, Spock … Spock … Spock.” He panted. “More … more … more.”


“Jim.” Spock groaned as his huge organ rammed another inch deeper in Jim’s tight ass.


For his mate it still wasn’t enough. “More Spock. Harder, faster, deeper. I need it. I want it. Take me completely, now”


The Vulcan obeyed, pulled out and thrust back harder and harder.  Jim cried out with pleasure as Spock obviously hit his prostate.


Spock had closed his eyes and seemed to enjoy the rough fucking for himself. “Jim.” He panted. “I must admit I like this sort of punishment for a  lost game.”


Jim pushed back to impale himself even further on the steel hard rod. “And I enjoy my prize.” He breathed raggedly as Spock grabbed for his stiff organ. “Oh … Spock, I’m coming!”




Q switched the monitor off and smiled. It had indeed been a good idea to watch a few of his favorite humanoids more closely in their private actions.


This people could be very interesting but he was really wondering how mankind and the other races ever made it into space when the only thing these people had in mind was fucking each other at any time and in any situation.


Nevertheless he had found his observations very pleasant and inspiring. Q glanced down at the growing bulge in his pants. Probably it hadn’t been such a good idea to choose a human appearance for this experience. His body seemed to develop human reactions to the virtual stimulations.


He now felt the strong urge the try this form of entertainment for himself. For a brief moment he considered to visit one of these humanoids but he decided otherwise. None of them would be an equal match to him.


He needed someone of his own kind, someone who could be equal to him and who was curious enough for himself about humanoids to indulge willingly in human fucking for the next one or two centuries.


He only had to thought for a moment Then Q went off to search Trelane through time and space. And he thought: ‘Besides he has a cute little ass.”