Title: For the night... and for ever 1/1
Author: Lady Charena <LadyCharena@aol.com>
Series: TOS, ST V
Codes: K/S, ft
Feedback: I'd like feedback very much. <LadyCharena@aol.com>
Summary: After the little "trip" to Nimbus III...
Mental speech is set between * *
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom owns Star Trek. I borrowed a small part from it, to have fun. The story is mine and only fanfiction - no moneymaking or offence of copyrights intended.
If you are under age, please stay away. If you have a problem with m/m-relations and -sex - sorry, you've picked the wrong story for your entertainment.
Please be patient with any errors - English is not my native language. My thanks to Lisa for beta.
For the night... and for ever 1/1
by Lady Charena
The physician watched his two friends sitting near the fire, quietly talking to each other -- which left him time to think things over. An hour ago, they broke the news of their altered relationship to him. Part of him was really amazed... of course he had known that the two of them shared something very special. Something more intense than simple close friendship. But *that* close? And there was a part of him that wasn't even a bit surprised - it seemed he'd expected it unconsciously for a long time...
"Bones? You're okay?"
He was startled from his musing and gazed into familiar hazel eyes.
"You haven't said a word for nearly an hour."
"What do you expect me to say?" he grumbled. "After all the years of watching you, it shouldn't surprise me at all."
Jim frowned at him. "Why?" he asked.
"My dear friend, because you've been obsessed with that Vulcan since you met him for the first time."
Kirk's frown broke into a smile. "Maybe you're right. I had just never seen how much he really meant to me."
He got up, stretching his cramped body, still feeling the bruises from his fall. "Time to quit talking for tonight."
McCoy watched him once more - as he went back to Spock, to set the camp for the night. There was no outward sign of a change between the two men. No holding hands, no good night kisses. But Jim looked a lot happier than he had last year. And the Vulcan - who could tell? Spock seemed content.
* * *
A few hours later, they found themselves back aboard the Enterprise and on their way to Nimbus III.
After his talk with Bob Wesley, Jim went to his quarters to change his clothes. He expected Spock to show up - but the Vulcan never came. So he went to Spock's quarters - after a short visit on the bridge - to assure that everything was all right.
He found the Vulcan behind his desk, replaying the tape with the recording from Nimbus III.
"Hey, there you are. Didn't you promise to join me for a shower?"
There was no answer and so he tried his newly-learned abilities and probed at their link. But Spock kept his shields up.
The last day they had spent on Hawaii, they melded to establish a link between them - a normal part of an intimate relationship with a Vulcan. It proved to be a truly fascinating experience for the human. He knew from the shallow link they had shared during the first five-year-mission - established through melds in the line of duty - how a Vulcan mind touch felt. And he remembered vividly the cool, clinical meld with Sarek after Spock's death. But this was... he couldn't describe it with words. To feel Spock inside his mind. To experience the pure delight *his* Vulcan took from it. And to be warmed by his love.
He had nearly forgotten his former reluctance to join his mind to Spock's. It always seemed too much like a commitment. And he wasn't sure if this was what either of them really wanted - needed - dared to risk...
He touched Spock's shoulder. "What's wrong, Spock?"
The Vulcan turned. "I am fine, Jim. I was just... thinking."
There was a moment of awkward silence while Jim studied the picture on the screen. It showed the kidnapper of the ambassadors.
Then Kirk nodded. "Okay. I have to go to the bridge. You're coming?"
"I will join you shortly."
The human was on his way to the door, as Spock stopped him. "T'hy'la."
Jim turned smiling. "Yes, love?"
The Vulcan went to him, hesitantly touching his cheek. "I regret missing the opportunity to share a shower with you. But maybe we can repeat it tonight?"
He found himself in a joyous hug. "I'll hold you to that promise," Jim whispered, capturing the soft lips for a quick kiss.
* * *
But it took them a long time to come around to the promised shower. So much happened in so little time...
Sybok and his crazed troop of mercenaries on Nimbus III. The knowledge that *he* was Spock's brother. That maniac who had stolen his ship and his crew from him. Who had turned his friends into a kind of puppet, pulling their strings to follow his mad plan to find god. That same man should be related to his gentle, logical lover? And was a son of the honourable Sarek? If it hadn't been so sad, Jim would have laughed.
He shivered, thinking of the creature they had found in that alleged Eden. Surely not a god...
Pushing those thoughts aside, Jim Kirk got up. He missed Spock. But the Vulcan had asked for some time to be alone. And the human tried to be patient and understanding - knowing Spock had to deal with the unexpected appearance of his older brother and his death. But he yearned to share this with the Vulcan, like Spock had shared *his* fears, his anger, his pain, in the last days.
Returning to the bed, he sat down. For the first time he found himself really thinking about commitment. About bonding. About spending the rest of his life with Spock. Somehow it had lost its frightening sound. It seemed that all he had needed was to be faced with a moment in which he thought he would die - alone on that miserable planet, facing a ship of the Klingons.
There were many questions he - they - had closed off in the weeks since the change in their relationship. And maybe it was now the time to change that... and maybe it was time for more than talking.
* * *
Warmth surrounded him as he entered Spock's quarters.
He went to the Vulcan, sliding his arms around his waist to hug him near. "I need to tell you something," he said. "I love you."
"I know." He sealed Spock's lips with a gentle kiss. "But there is more I have to tell you." He retreated slightly to lock his eyes with his lover's. "Today gave me a hard lesson. Without you - I would have died."
He silenced Spock's answer with another gentle kiss. "I want to share with you. Everything. Every time. I know you tried to talk with me about this... about commitment, on Hawaii. But I was too unsure."
"Too unsure of what, Jim?"
"If this is what we both really want. This is somewhat new for me. And I figured, for you, too."
He smiled, as he saw disbelief in the dark eyes. "Really. You know I had male lovers before, but I was never as much in love as I am with you. I've never thought of commitment before. That was always kind of frightening to me."
He cupped the beloved face in his hands. "Tonight I want to hold you to this that promised shower. After that, I want to take you to bed, to make love to you... And I want you to bond us. But this is all academic, if you don't want me."
"Jim! I... of course I want to join with you. I told you that the very first night in Yosemite."
Kirk smiled - and started to open the top of Spock's uniform. "I know, but I did not understand. Now I do." Bending his head, he nibbled at the side of Spock's chin, earning a gasp.
He divested his Vulcan of his clothes, then shed his own without much care, leaving them in a trail on his way to the bathroom.
Ushering the Vulcan into the small cubicle, he set the temperature high enough to be comfortable for both of them. There was just enough room for two and Jim thought longingly of the big shower in their beach cabin on Hawaii.
Hot hands started to spread soap on his chest... and he forgot Hawaii, revelling in the touch. Both - on his skin and deeper. Spock's mind brushed his and he welcomed it, never feeling the fingertips settle over the meld points in his face.
He closed his eyes, giving himself over to the gentle sensations, flowing his mind... Join us, he thought, for the night and for ever...
* * *
A gush of cooler air startled him for a moment, before he found himself enveloped in a thick towel and vulcan arms. He still felt the brush of Spock's thoughts, inflaming his body with no more than a simple touch. It wasn't hard to understand why Vulcans valued the mind more than the body. But his showed a rather enthusiastic reaction to Spock's more mental caresses.
Something tickled at the corner of his mind and he turned to face his Vulcan. "You laugh," he whispered, touching his temple in disbelief. "I can feel it." He bent his head to brush his lips over his mate's. "Will you let me see you laugh? One day..."
Spock did not answer, but again Jim felt the tingling sensation. He could easily get used to it.
* * *
They finally made it to bed. Jim pushed Spock gently back to lean against the head of the bed and straddled his legs. He watched the face of his soon-to-be mate intensely.
Spock reached for the meld points again.
"Won't you ask me to marry you?" Jim asked smiling, touching the back of Spock's hand.
A brow rose to dark, mussed bangs. "I did not know that was still required?" There was an amused ring in the Vulcan's voice. "You have already given yourself to me."
Jim laughed. "Got you. You don't want to make me an honest man, Spock." He cut off the Vulcan's answer with a kiss.
But Spock stopped him after a moment, closing both hands around the human's face. "Jim, will you bond with me?" he asked.
"I will..." Jim whispered against Spock's lips.
* * *
At first there was no real difference... Just warmth and peace. He had never felt this at ease before.
*Rested enough, t'hy'la?*
He heard the voice inside his mind. It didn't feel like an intrusion - but like regaining a part of himself that he had always missed without even knowing it.
Slowly he opened his eyes, looking at his mate - and saw another, unbelievably young person. The wrinkles were gone, an almost imperceptible strain around the eyes and mouth had vanished. Hesitantly, he traced the smiling lips.
"I never saw you smiling openly like this before," he whispered amazed.
"No one ever did, Jim. You gave me the freedom to do so." Spock took his hand, placing a tender kiss onto his palm. "To say, 'I love you.'"
The human closed his eyes, savouring this moment.
"I didn't meant to rush it like this," he said a few minutes later. "We are bonded now?"
"No, t'hy'la." Spock silenced his protest with a fingertip over his lips. "A bond is not made with haste. We are now linked on a deeper level, and this link will grow to a bond. This is just the beginning."