Football Fever






Series: SK Kölsch

Characters: Jupp Schatz, Falk von Schermbeck and their colleagues

Rating: G

Codes: Humor

Feedback: here or to

Summary: Anyone has tickets for the Woldcup only Jupp not.


Disclaimer: This story’s mine, but I do not intend to touch the rights of the owner of the characters I’ve used. No moneymaking, no offence meant. English is not my native language, so please be patient with my mistakes. Thanks to Lady Charena for the beta. For all remaining errors, blame me.




"Not even for Ghana? Or Togo? Angola? These cannot be sold out all. No-one really is interested in this teams anyway. And if you issue me in as your assistant? That’s not possible? What are you saying about safety doubts? I’m cop, man! You’re really a good friend. Thanks a lot! Don't think that I ever will do you a favour again. And don’t ask in my mother’s bar for credit anymore.” 


“Damn!” Jupp Schatz furiously slammed the telephone receiver on the phone.. "The world as guest with friends, that I don't laugh. Really nice friends."


"What’s the matter?" his colleague Falk von Schermbeck wanted to know.

"I wanted tickets for the Worldcup. I though, a acquaintance. who works for the FC, can get me some.”


“The grounds man?” Falk asked.


"Na, it doesn’t matter if he’s grounds man or manager," Jupp gave back. "FC is FC. And he is involved in any event in the stadium. In addition, he always has gotten credit from my mother. He really can do me a favour for once.”


“Why haven’t you applied online for tickets like anyone else?” Falk wanted to know. “It was clear from the beginning that this would be the only official way.”


"With millions of others?" Jupp answered. "You don't have any chance anyway. I thought I will get one with my contacts anywhere.”


"And now you are in the offside,” Falk stated. "One week before the beginning you will get no more tickets over the normal sale.”


"Thank you, that you remind me," Jupp snorted viciously.


"To watch the games in the bar together with friends also can be quite nice,” Falk tried to comfort Jupp.. "Or you can go to the fan festivals and watch on the big screens.”


"This isn't the same like live in the stadium, but what do you understand from football,” Jupp wanted to know.


"After all I have played a while during my time at the BKA," Falk replied.


"You?" Jupp asked doubtingly.


"FC Grün-Weiß Queer-Treffer, as striker,” Falk explained.


"What’s this for a funny team?”


"A gay police team in Wiesbaden."


Jupp almost felt of his chair. Gay policemen who played football. Really, things happened which seemed impossible. And he really couldn't imagine Falk as soems ort of Lukas Podolski. "Have you sometimes scored the ball... or only anything else? Hey, man-to-man combat gets a real new meaning then. And the fan curve surely was completely in pink,” Jupp stitched.


Falk rolled his eyes in feigned indignation. He knew Jupps sayings about gays all too well and didn't take them too seriously. "Haven't you read the interview with the president of the FC St. Pauli a couple of weeks ago? He thinks that there are homosexuals in every national league team and also in the national team itself ".


"He’s crazy," Jupp explained categorically. "There’s no fag in my FC Cologne team."


"Who knows," Falk said ambiguously. "One hears certain rumours in the gay bars.”.


Jupp waved it off, indignantly. "Never!”


"And you queers really have played football?" he then wanted to know. "Seems almost more impossible then an women's team.”


"Yes, imagine,” Falk gave back. “Sissies and women also play football. There even was a queer world cup tournament once in Cologne. And the German women are world's champions opposite to the men.”


"This will change," Jupp was sure. "We will make it. Unfortunately without me."


"Why haven't you applied for a police operation at least?" Falk asked. "Perhaps you would have been employed in the stadium and could have seen something of the game at least. They were looking for volunteers last year, I remember."


"I have," Jupp answered. "Even for Leipzig. I thought, they surely could use some help over there in the east."


“And?” Falk wanted to know.

"They showed me the red card. No need for crime-detectives."


Achim Pohl came into the office the two shared. "The boss wants to talk to you. It’s about the Worldcup."




"Even if our team isn't directly employed to the Worldcup,” Gesine Westphal said in her office. "We have to be at increased alert should any unpleasant incidents happen. I would like to know who of you isn’t available at which date because she or he has tickets. Of course it shall be taken into account so that all of you can enjoy the time.”


"I cannot on the 12, 17. and 22.," Gino Bruni said.


"You have tickets?" Jupp wanted to know.

"Sure, for the games with Italy in Hanover, Kaiserslautern and Hamburg," the young cop replied. "My uncle has got them for me. He has good contacts to the Italian Football Association. When our players better kick penalties like in the past an the referee doen not fall again for the tricks of our opponents like in Korea, we will became world-champions this time. I’m sure,” he with conviction.

"My favourite is Argentina," Achim Pohl replied. "And I’m in Gelsenkirchen to the game against Serbia-Montenegro on the 16. I have won two tickets in a quiz."


"I prefer Holland," Marie Weiß said. The pathologist just had come into the office in order to bring a post-mortem examination report.


"You’re also interested in football?" Jupp wondered doubtingly.

"Natural. I will be at two games. With a friend in Stuttgart and Frankfurt.”:


" I don't believe it,” Jupp moaned. "How did you come to tickets?”


"Quite normal over the internet sale," the pathologist replied. "As world-champion by the way I would guess for Brazil.”


“Perhaps we should make a bet,” Pohl suggested.


“not in the office," Gesine Westphal ordered. "I’m not here by the way at the 18 and 22. Jupp, you have to at duty then:”


“Sure,” Schatz moaned. "I’ve anyway to do nothing better.


"Which games will you see?” Gina asked.


"Brazil-Japan in Dortmund and Brazil - Australia in Munich," Gesine Westphal replied "The Brazilians are also my favourites."


Jupp rolled his eyes. Why did everybody have tickets only he not? He would usually have tried to talk at least one of his colleagues in selling him two tickets for himself and his son and if necessary what have paid a lot of money for them, even more as regularly. After all they really hadn’t to watch more then one game. And he wasn’t choosy about the match anymore. But he knew how hard it was to transfer the person bound tickets to someone else. So he could forget this too, so shortly before the beginning of the Cup. Not, that he really believed someone would have given him the tickets. Obviously even those who usulaly had not the slightest interest in football wanted to be live in the stadium and a fan like him stayed out the greatest football event in German history.


“And you, Falk?” Westphal wanted to know.


Von Schermbeck handed her a piece of paper. "There stands when I’m unavailable.”


"You ... also ... have… tickets?” Jupp asked emphasizing any word.


Falk only gave him a smile as answer.




" I don't believe it,” Jupp said to Falk as they later left the police department together. "Everyone got tickets but I not. I even would drive to Nuremberg or Hamburg just to watch game live in the stadium. And Flo, too, had wanted so much to be at a game.”


"I thought after the FC has went down to the second league and Prince Poldi has decided to go to the Bavarians he’s not that much enthusiastic about football," Falk said.


"Nope, a real fan goes even down with his team. In addition, we will be in the first league again in a year, even without this traitor,”  Jupp answered and sighed. "Which games by the way are you watching and where did you got the tickets?”


Falk stopped and pulled an envelope out his coats bag. "I wanted to give it to you and Flo this evening when we’re dining together at your mom’s,” he said. “But before you completely fell into depression…” He handed Jupp the envelope.


"What’s this?" Schatz asked.


Falk smiled "Be guest with friends. Open!”


Jupp tore the envelope open - and held tickets in his hand. For himself, Flo and Falk. Tickets for the opening match in Munich, the finale in Berlin and the other two first round games of the German team which would take place in Dortmund and Berlin. Not just plain tickets, VIP tickets.


Jupp stared on the tickets and then on Falk and back on the tickets and again at Falk. He couldn’t believe what eh was seeing. “What?” was all he finally managed to say.


"My father is a close friend of one of the main sponsors managing director," Falk explained. "And those managers got tickets. He didn’t need them so I gladly took them instead.”


Jupp, rather speechless and not knowing how he should thank his friend with words, simply pulled Falk in a tight embrace and kissed him stormily on his cheek.


And for one time in his life Jupp Schatz didn't care, if anyone was seeing him or what one could think about him kissing his gay colleague in front of the police headquarters.





Sequel:        Self-Goal