First Place (tie) TOS Slash Novella,
Second Place (tie) TOS Het Novella, Second Place TOS Spock/female, Second Place (tie) TOS Novella,
Second Place Overall Best Story,
Third Place TOS Kirk/Spock Novella
Title: All the things she said 1
Author: Lady Charena
Series: (a/r) TOS - shortly after the five-year-mission
Codes: (POV S) S/T'Pring, [K/S]
Rating: NC-17, non-con
Feedback: I'd love to get LadyCharena@aol.com
Summary: T'Pring calls Spock to Vulcan.
**//**//** markes change of time (memories)
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom owns Star Trek. This story is mine and only fanfiction. No moneymaking or offence of copyrights is intended. If you are under age or have a problem with homosexuality, please stay away.
English is not my native language, please be patient with mistakes. My gratitude to T'Len for picking out the biggest errors.
All the things she said *)
"You can set me free now, Spock, but you will never be free of me."
T'Pring? No, her picture, her voice, was not real, only a shadow of the past, crossing my dreams. But I am on my way to meet her... With this thought, I wake up. For a moment, I do not know where I am as I open my eyes and look over the strange furniture. There is not much to see in the little sleeping alcove aboard the long-distance shuttle I have rented for the journey back to my home world.
Then I remember all - your sad face as I told you I would leave Earth for an undefined amount of time to visit my family on Vulcan. But you understood, telling me you had not seen your own people since years and it might be a good idea to do some visiting too, as long as your days off would last and before you would be needed once again in head quarters. I was grateful you did not ask again for the answer I could not give to you the night before. Not then, beloved... maybe never.
For Admiral Nogura it needed more than this simple explanation. He has been informed more thoroughly as I thought possible about the strained relationship between me and my family - especially between me and my father. I did never know - nor thought - that the Ambassador and Admiral Nogura have been known to each other back to the time before Sareks marriage to my mother. Finally, even he was satisfied and agreed to my leave of absence. Of course, he would have provided me with an assignment at head quarters for the time of the technical upgrade of the Enterprise. I am almost... relieved to be able to decline his offer. It would have meant to work too near to you.
"This is not enough. You will have to explain yourself one day, Spock."
Even now, even here, I can still hear T'Pring's voice as she yelled those words at me. In the aftermath of the kal-lif-farr-fight with my Captain and believing him dead, I did not care about her or the things she said to me. But suddenly I remember the hatred in her eyes as well as the scorn and satisfaction in Stonn's eyes, her favourite.
We Vulcans are not the unemotional creatures we want to make believe - at least not if it concerns such archaic matters like marriage and bonding. Or love...
I leave the sleeping alcove to check the instruments. It is a strange feeling to pilot this small ship all by myself, surrounded only by stars and the voices and pictures of the past. I have slept a long time, but there is still an amount of more than twenty hours waiting ahead of me until I will reach Vulcan.
I sit back in the pilots seat and concentrate on the thin mental link, the remains of my unconsummated bond to T'Pring. Because of the already crossed distance, I can feel her presence more strongly. Her calling never leaves me now.
We met for the first time in the age of seven. T'Pring's parents took her to our house in Shi'Kar, coming from a town near the mountains of Gol.
Years later I could still recall the excitement I felt that day.
My father told me about what would happen, lecturing me about the meaning of bonding, honour and about my duties to the family. It sounded severe enough to scar me.
The ritual greeting of T'Pring and her parents occurred in the living room, then my father took T'Pring and me to a healer in the City. Because of my half-human ancestry, I had only little contact with other vulcan children. And even if it had been allowed I would not have tried to talk to T'Pring. She... impressed me.
The healer was a competency for all matters of bonding. He made us sitting down on a bench, then first touched T'Pring's sleeve with his fingers - afterwards mine. It felt like a whisper at the outside of my awareness. As he broke contact, he told my father that he thought me to be still too young for a full bonding. Even if I was physically in the correct age, he did not think my mental capacities to be already developed enough.
Sarek told him to proceed in forming a link between T'Pring and me, which would eventually result in a bonding when 'the time had arrived'. I did not understand the meaning of that and I had no time to think about it, because the healer again approached us.
He took T'Pring's hand and mine, leading them to meet each other with extended fingers. Then the healer again touched my forehead as well as the sleeve of my bondmate-to-be. Sarek had tried to prepare me for this moment, he told me not to resist the healers mind. Despite his teachings, I instinctually shrunk back as I felt the first trills of contact. The healer stopped for a moment, than reinforced his efforts to enter my mind. He tore down the mental shields I had learned to build. It hurt as if a needle pierced my flesh to sink deep into my brain and I screamed. Something blazed in my mind and I felt a second invasion to my awareness - it was T'Pring moving along the channel the healer opened for her and settling a link inside of me. Suddenly it was over and I could breath again, once more alone in my mind, my head aching terribly. I felt slightly dizzy.
I opened my eyes and looked at T'Pring. Her face was absolute clear of any expression.
"What could be done, is done," the healer said, turning to Sarek. "He should be carefully monitored for the next three days. If there are any after-effects of the meld, please contact me again." He left the room without another look at T'Pring or me.
Sarek took us back home and shortly after, T'Pring and her parents left. It would have seemed like a strange dream if there had not been this new awareness of another person in my mind...
The flash of a warning signal brings me out of the slight trance I involuntarily slipped. A minor irregularity at the energy supply turns my mind for a few minutes back to the present. After I solved the problem, I decide to get something to eat. I am not hungry, but there is no logical cause to refuse my body nourishment only because my mind is in an upheaval. I program the replicator for some food and take it with me into the sleeping alcove, the only other possibility to sit down except the pilots seat.
I remember another day, another meal.
The next time we met was in the age of sixteen. This second meeting should have taken place already two years ago but Sarek's prolonged absence from Vulcan prevented it.
In the years following the linkage to T'Pring's mind I was taught to shield the link and learned to cope with the remaining slight awareness of her in my mind. I did not reflect often over my future bondmate or the mysterious "time" of which Sarek spoke to the healer.
This time we went to T'Pring and her parents. It took me by surprise as the link came to life, getting stronger as the distance to her decreased and surely my face must have betrayed it, because I received a stern gaze from Sarek.
My bondmate-to-be took almost no notice from me after she greeted me. But later - during the meal - I felt her eyes on me from time to time. Afterwards T'Pring and I were supposed to meld, to strengthen our link.
T'Pring took me to her room, declining Sarek's offer to monitor the meld, in order to assist if anything unexpected should arise.
I had no eyes for the room she took me in - but only for her. In the age of seven I thought her to be impressing. With sixteen, she was of a striking beauty.
We set down on a low seat, facing each other. Without hesitation, T'Pring reached for me to touch my face, found the melding points and initiated the meld. As she overcame my shields without any effort before I could lower them, I broke the contact, brushing her fingers from my face.
"It is not considered courteous to force a meld in this way," I protested.
T'Pring gazed at me like I was a very interesting insect she was studying. "My mental abilities are superior to yours," she answered coolly. "The women of my family are known to be gifted that way. I studied the last two years with the Masters of Gol. We are expected to meld so I can not see any force in my actions. I thought it to be helpful for you if I take control over the meld."
"Help is not necessary." I struggled with a sudden surge of anger, feeling all the same ashamed to have so little control.
Again T'Pring reached out for me and touched the side of my face. This time I lowered my shields for her to follow the link into my mind. Her presence was almost overwhelming. Melding was still somehow new for me. Sarek kept his few melds with me only superficial, T'Pring on the other hand touched the core of me. I visualised the link between us as a rope... no, as two ropes aiming in opposite directions. The link coming from T'Pring was thick and strong, but the link coming from me was thinner, almost fragile. I felt her puzzlement over this different in texture, but obviously she explained it with my being only half-Vulcan. She deepened the meld, planting the link deep into the bonding centre of my mind. Her mental abilities were truly superior to mine.
Slowly withdrawing from the bonding centre she seemed to wait for any action from my side. I was unsure what to do, nothing had prepared me for this moment.
I opened my eyes to look at T'Pring. As she took her hand from my face, the connection remained. I still could feel her inside my mind. She met my gaze and for a moment I thought to see scorn in the depths of her eyes.
Suddenly I felt dizzy. "We should end the meld," I said, my voice rough. "It is enough."
"No," T'Pring whispered. "This is not enough." Again she touched my face, this time brushing her fingers over my lips, before settling them over the meld points.
Instinctively I rose my shields - but the link and the physical contact to T'Pring prevented me from closing my mind to her.
Her fingers left the melding points, brushing over my face on their way down to my neck. A stunning sensation ran through my body. I felt... aroused.
T'Pring pushed me back. I lost balance and collapsed on the bench. Her eyes travelled down my body and the merest shadow of a derisive smile grazed her lips. "Humans are such weaklings," she said. "My parents were mistaken to chose you to be my bondmate. But your family is wealthy and very respected, so I can not decline the offer to bond with you. The marriage with you will give me all the power I desire."
"T'Pring..." I tried to sit up and found I could not move. "What are you doing?"
"I take some precautions you will never stand in my way. We will bond now - you will be mine. I do not want to wait until you suffer pon farr. It might never come because of your human blood." She opened the clasp of my robe, parting the thin material to reveal my skin. "You are less human in appearance, then I expected, but your skin is slightly cooler." As she touched my side, brushing her hand over my heart, I gasped for breath.
"T'Pring. Stop this!"
"Why?" she asked. "I thought humans find this very pleasurable."
"I am a Vulcan."
Again the shadow of a smile showed in her face. "You are not." Her hands travelled down my chest, burning my skin. She removed the remains of my clothes, again her gaze searching my now naked body. "And your body is proving me right."
I tried to resist but still could not move, T'Pring was in total control of my responses. A wave of desire surged though me and I could feel my member harden.
"I have heard, that the easiest way to control humans is to control their sexuality."
I almost could not hear her words because blood was surging in my ears. "I am Vulcan," I whispered.
T'Pring did not answer. She moved to kneel astride me, lifting her skirt with one hand far enough for me to see her legs, her parted thighs, slightly quivering as she sank down, supporting herself with the other hand, pressed to the surface of the bench.
I nearly lost consciousness as I felt myself entering her body. A blaze of sensations exploded in my mind, breaking the last shreds of my control. My shields slipped and T'Pring entered my mind as deep as I entered her body.
"One in body, one in mind."
I heard/felt her whispering echoing through my whole self... and collapsed into orgasm.
Suddenly I could see myself laying naked beneath her, my body surging and heaving in rapture. It was like standing next to the bench and being witness to the scene. At the same time I could sense the link between T'Pring and me, growing stronger, almost a full bond.
I reacted - but I could never recall later what exactly I did. T'Pring's control over my body loosened as my orgasm was reflected to her through the link and I could move again. I pushed her from me, hard enough she toppled over the edge of the bench and felt to the ground. The meld finally broke.
Breathing heavily I laid without any movement for a moment, then rose and slipped into my clothes. I had to support myself with one hand at the wall, my body was shaking violently.
Slowly T'Pring rose. Her face was pale, she had bitten her lower lip, a small line of blood travelled down her chin. Obviously without really being aware of it, she brushed the blood away with the back of her hand. She smoothed her slightly crumbled dress. Then she looked at me. "If you tell anybody what happened I will say you raped me. They will believe me, Spock," she said calmly.
At that moment, I had no doubt that her words were true. All my life I had been doubted and handled with distrust. This time surely would be no exception. I nodded and fled from her room. For some time I stood there, pressed against the wall and tried to regain control over me once again. With horror I felt that we had almost bonded. I raised the strongest shields I could to shelter me from her.
* * *
Shortly after this episode, I broke with my family and left Vulcan to join Starfleet. In the following years my mental abilities developed - at the same time the link with T'Pring grow weaker. Then the fires of pon farr started to burn in me...
Not again. I do not want to think at that time. Jim and I were just getting friends and I almost killed him in a blind rage! And all because of that woman. I push back my almost untouched plate, it is impossible for me to eat any further. T'Pring's calling is getting stronger with every minute I approach Vulcan. Vulcan - home, not my home...
Suddenly my longing for you seems unbearable. I close my eyes, taking deep breaths till it stops hurting so much. Maybe I should have told you everything at the beginning of our relationship. After the pon farr, after I nearly killed you, you believed me to be free from T'Pring. Shortly afterwards you told me to be in love with me. I had been wounded severely - not physical. To lost again complete control over myself tore mental wounds - your love started to heal them. And I thought to be free forever...
It was a delusion. It is the cause why I must not answer, when you ask me if I love you, too...
* * *
Finally I enter the orbit around Vulcan. The shuttle is small enough to set down at the Vulcan spaceport and I encounter no problems with the space control centre.
Short time later I fill my lungs with the dusty, dry air of my home world. Heat closes around me like a stifling cloak. She knows that I am here, I can sense it, her calling gets more urgently. I rent an aircar at the spaceport and follow the direction her mind shows me.
T'Pring is still living in the house of her parents. They both died some years ago, my mother mentioned it in one of her occasional messages to me. As I leave the aircar and approach the house T'Pring opens the door. Without a word, I follow her in.
Finally she turns to face me. "Spock."
I bent my head slightly. "T'Pring. Why did you call me?"
Suddenly she crosses the distance between us, touches my face and something flamed in my mind. Less than rapture, more than simple desire - but not for more than a moment, I block her and break the connection.
I withdraw from her, fetching her hand. "Is this why you called me?" Scorn colours my cold voice. As I lower my gaze to her hand in mine, my eyes travel along the long, thin fingers with pointed nails - slightly bend they remember me of the claw of some bird of prey. Then I hear her saying the only words I would have never expected.
"I ask for your help, Spock."
To be continued soon! Part 2
*) Title inspired (stolen) from t.a.t.u.
...All the things she said
Running through my head
All the things she said
Running through my head
All the things she said
This is not enough...